The First Cut is the Deepest
by sammygirl1963
Summary: TeenChester: When a training accident goes horribly wrong, John blames his youngest for almost killing Dean causing Sammy to run away. Will he survive on his own until his brother finds him? Sam is 14 and Dean has just turned 19. Hurt Boys!
1. Chapter 1

**The First Cut is the Deepest**

**Disclaimer: **Krike and the CW owns the Winchesters. I am only playing with them for a little while until I have to return them. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: **Sam is 14 going on 15 in this story. Dean has just turned 19.

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Sam was beyond pissed. Not only was he having problems with two bullies at school, he was also having to practice combat training for the fifth damn night in a row. His dad had been complaining about how his fighting skills were sorely lacking and he needed to suck it up and get with the program. "You need to be more like Dean" his dad kept saying. When would the man ever realize that he wasn't Dean, that he was his own person and should be treated as such?

He had tried to talk to his dad earlier about taking just one night off. He had a big exam coming up and the test would be half of his grade. He couldn't afford to mess up on this one since he was secretly hoping to go to college one day. _"Yeah, like that's ever going to happen" _he thought with sadness as he pulled on his sneakers after hearing his dad holler at him to get his lazy ass in gear, that he had two minutes to be down the stairs or else.

Stalking down the steps, he walked into the living room to see his dad impatiently tapping his foot. "It's about damned time you got your ass down here boy. You think we've got all damned day?" John asked as he cuffed Sam in the back of the head before pushing him out the door. Go get in the car boy, you've kept your brother waiting long enough.

Sam trudged out to the car and climbed in the back as he pulled his jacket around him, the cool autumn air causing him to tremble. He saw Dean look at him through the rear view mirror and rolled his eyes before focusing his attention out the side window. He just couldn't understand why Dean seemed to love the practice sessions so much when all it left them with was sore muscles and aching limbs. As they made the long drive into the hills, Sam became even more frustrated. He just didn't feel like listening to his dad's putdowns for the fifth day in a row. He allowed a tear to trail silently down his cheek before discretely wiping it away.

"So dad, what are we going to practice today?" Dean asked as they made their way to the isolated woodlands of Iowa where they wouldn't be disturbed.

"I think it's about time Sammy worked on his knife skills is close combat" John answered his oldest with a smile. "You know how important it is to be able to handle a silver blade when it comes to some of the supernatural creatures we face."

"Yes sir, can't take any chances with Samantha accidentally stabbing himself can we?" Dean said with a smirk as he glanced back at Sammy.

"Actually, that's just what I am afraid of" John stated. "You know how clumsy your brother can be. We've got to work on training him to become a better fighter."

"Dad, I was just picking, I didn't mean what I said" Dean intoned after seeing the hurt look that crossed Sammy's face after hearing their father's remark. "Sammy's doing better, before you know it, he'll be as good or better than me."

"I sincerely doubt that Dean, but hopefully he'll gain enough skill that we won't have to worry about him watching our backs" John said while glancing at his youngest in the rearview mirror. He sighed as he noticed the way that Sammy was brooding again. _"I swear it will be a miracle if we survive his angsty teenaged years"_ John thought dejectedly.

After twenty more miles of tension filled driving, John pulled into the dense wooded area of an abandoned park. He climbed from the car and instructed his boys to do the same. After walking his boys over to the clearing they had been practicing in for the past few nights, John pulled two knives out of the sheath strapped to his leg. "Okay boys, today you are going to work on your shield hand technique. Now if you remember what we talked about yesterday, your shield hand is used to protect the vital organs in your body. You keep your hand placed to protect your heart as well as other vital organs when your opponent makes a stab. Never forget, it might hurt to get your hand cut, but it won't kill you like a knife to the heart could."

Looking at his youngest child, John said "Alright Sammy, I want you to take offense this time. Remember the stances and jabbing techniques we've worked on over the past few days. And for God's sake, don't forget to pull back at the last minute to keep from actually stabbing your brother."

"Yes Sir" Sam replied as he took the basic fighter's stance which would allow him to move in any direction at a moment's notice. He then started practicing the moves that John had taught with Dean deflecting the blows using a Kevlar device to protect his arm. They had been training for fifteen minutes when the unthinkable happened. Sam shifted to his right and his foot landed on a slippery stone causing him to trip and fall into his brother with the knife extended in his hand. Dean automatically raised his hands to catch his brother as Sammy began to fall forgetting to protect himself in his need to protect Sammy. Dean gasped aloud as the knife entered his stomach and felt his knees go weak. "Oh shit" he groaned as he felt the knife go deep into his stomach before falling to his knees. He placed his hand over the stab wound and bright red blood quickly bubbled through his fingers.

"Dean" screamed Sammy realizing that he had just accidentally stabbed his brother. He immediately began to shiver as his body went into shock over what he had done. "Oh God, I didn't mean to…I'm sorry….Please Dean" Sam cried as he placed his head in his hands and screamed "NOOOOOOOO!"

"Holy shit" gasped John as he witnessed Sam falling and Dean reaching out to catch him. He watched the knife in Sam's hand descending towards Dean's stomach in what seemed to be slow motion. He froze for just a minute as he saw the stunned look on Dean's face at having been stabbed by his baby brother. He suddenly became alert as he saw his oldest begin to fall and quickly fell to his own knees and caught Dean just before he could collapse to the ground completely and force the knife in deeper.

"What the hell have you done Sammy?" John yelled in anger as he helped Dean to lay back on the ground.

"I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to" Sam replied over and over as he fell to his knees and began to rock back and forth. He began to shiver violently as he looked at his brother with pain filled eyes. He soon felt bile rise in his throat and gagged before quickly emptying his stomach of its contents.

"Get over your damned self and help me" John shrieked as he pulled the knife out slowly to avoid doing more damage and removed his shirt. He quickly balled up his t-shirt and applied pressure to get the wound to stop bleeding. "Go get the first aid kit Sammy. I need some pressure bandages and gauze. I also need a thermal blanket to keep your brother warm. Now Sammy Go!"

Hearing the strict command shook Sam out of his daze and he ran to follow his dad's order. He returned just a moment later and watched as his dad administered first aid to his brother. Once he got the bleeding stopped and the wound bandaged, John picked up his oldest and carried him to the car making sure to cover him with the thermal blanket to keep Dean as warm as possible.

"Get your ass in the back Sammy and see if you can take care of your brother long enough for me to get him to the hospital" John spat out harshly at his youngest who was standing beside the car like a statue.

Sam hurriedly climbed into the car and reached out to pull Dean in close as John gently and tenderly slid him into the car. He kept his eyes focused on Dean's wounded stomach area to watch for any bleeding. He soon felt the car shift as his dad climbed into the front seat and gunned the engine. Sam could immediately feel the hostility in the air as his dad glanced at them in the rearview mirror before pulling out. He knew he would be in deep shit as soon as his dad got him alone in a private place, his father would tear him a new one.

As soon as they were out on the open road, John verbally lashed out at Sammy not thinking about the damage his words were doing to his baby boy's self esteem. "How could you be so frigging stupid Sam and not drop the knife when you felt yourself falling? Hell, with you as a little brother Dean will be lucky if he lives to see twenty one."

John heard the swift intake of breath emitted by his youngest and knew how much his words had hurt Sammy. He refused to take them back however thinking that it deserved Sam right for being so careless. Maybe the words would give Sammy some pause to think and he would be more careful in the future, that is if Dean even had a future now. Fearing for his oldest, he pushed the pedal to the metal driving at top speed towards the nearest hospital. Luckily he had scouted it out when they started training in case of an emergency.

Ten minutes later, John pulled up to the ER bay. He saw two paramedics standing outside talking near an ambulance and called for their help. As they jogged over towards him, he pulled open the back door of the Impala. "My oldest son was accidentally stabbed in the stomach with a knife" he informed them shakily as one of the men leaned into the car to check out Dean.

"Hey Barry, we're gonna need a gurney" Jacob called as he checked Dean's pulse and respirations. "This kid needs help quick." Jacob watched as his partner ran in through the ER doors and returned his attention the boys in front of him. He wasn't only concerned for the kid with the stab wound, but also for the kid cradling his head in his lap. The younger kid looked much too shocky for his liking and he was extremely pale. He had to listen closely to hear the words that the younger boy kept whispering---_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, S'all my fault. _

Once Jacob returned with the gurney, Barry gently pulled the oldest child from his brother's arms and placed the unconscious boy on the gurney. As he covered Dean with a blanket, he said "Jacob, you need to check on the kid in the car. If I'm not mistaken, the kid is in shock. Barry then pushed Dean inside the ER with John following behind as Jacob took care of his youngest. Dean's gurney was soon swarmed by doctors as they started assessing the unconscious young man before them.

"Let's get him into treatment room five" Dr. Early called out after finding a very weak pulse. As they approached the swinging doors to the treatment rooms, John found himself stopped by a firm hand to his shoulders. "Sorry sir, you'll have to wait out here" Barry informed John as he led him over to a waiting room chair. "The doctor will be with you as soon as possible."

John sat down despondently and lowered his head into his hands. He couldn't believe that things had went so bad so quickly. He looked up as a nurse approached him with some forms.

"Sir, we need you to fill these out so we will have your son's history. Make sure you list any known allergies on the forms please."

John took the forms into his hands and then looked over to see Jacob leading Sam into the hospital. "Sammy?" he questioned as he saw Jacob leading him towards the treatment room doors.

"I'm just going to have him checked out by one of the physicians" Jacob informed John. "I think your son might be suffering from shock and I just want to make sure he is okay. You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

John stood up to go with Sammy knowing that it would lead him that much closer to Dean. He couldn't believe that Jacob was making a fuss over Sammy's insignificant state of mild shock when it was Dean he should be worried about. As soon as he got Sammy alone, the kid would be lucky if he didn't take off his belt and spank the crap out of him with it for the mess he caused.

**TBC **_**I know I have a few other stories going right now, but this one hit me suddenly and wouldn't leave me alone. Do you want to read more???**_


	2. Chapter 2

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 2**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I am only playing with them for a little while until I have to return them. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: **Sam is 14 going on 15 in this story. Dean has just turned 19.

*******Thanks to the anonymous reviewers that I couldn't thank personally***** **

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**Previously: **_"I'm just going to have him checked out by one of the physicians" Jacob informed John. "I think your son might be suffering from shock and I just want to make sure he is okay. You're welcome to join us if you'd like."_

John stood just inside the treatment room door as he watched Dr. LaSala checking Sam over. It pissed him off to know think that this doctor should also be in the working on Dean instead of taking care of Sammy. His youngest wasn't in danger of dying, just of possibly being spanked when he got him alone.

John didn't need the doctor to tell him that Sam's white pallor, rapid pulse and clammy skin were all signs of mild shock, he had learned that basic fact in the Marines. He also knew what the doctor would recommend for the next twenty four hours--that Sammy needed to lay down and rest _(like hell was he going to let him do that) _and to keep his fluid and food intake limited to reduce chances of vomiting. He sighed impatiently wishing the doctor would just finish the hell up so he could focus on Dean once again.

As Dr. LaSala checked over her patient, she was extremely concerned about his state of mind. The kid was so unfocused and consumed with guilt that he couldn't answer anything she asked. All he kept repeating was that it was all his fault. Knowing that she had to find out what was torturing the kid if she was going to get through to him, she turned to his father who was standing stiffly in the doorway and said, "If I am going to help your son, I need to know exactly what has him so upset. I can't help him unless I know what was going on."

John was waiting for the moment and had what he thought was the perfect answer to keep suspicion off their backs. Feigning a concerned look, he stated "We were at home having a celebratory dinner of ham and baked potatoes since Sammy there had aced his nine weeks exams. While the boys were setting the table for our dinner, Sammy was carrying the carving knife over and slipped in something on the floor. As he fell, threw his hands out to catch himself with the knife extended just as Dean tried to stop his brother from falling. He uh, he accidentally st-stabbed his brother" John stuttered a little to make his lie more believable."

"Oh my God, no wonder the child is so upset" Dr. LaSala gasped as she returned her focus to the youngest Winchester. "I'm going to give him a mild sedative to help him relax. He needs rest to recover from the shock he is in."

'Sure doc, whatever you think is best" John replied. "Can you please find out how my other son is doing also. His name is Dean and he is being treated in one of the other rooms."

"I'll see what I can do" the doctor said as she withdrew some amber colored liquid from a smile vial. Turning back to her patient, she swabbed a small area on Sammy's arm and pressed the needle into his skin. As she slowly pressed the plunger, she thumbed away the tears that were leaking from the young boy's eyes. "You're going to be alright" she said as she reached out to brush away a stray strand of hair from the kid's eyes.

After the doctor walked out of the room, John strode over towards the bed his youngest was in and shot him a venomous look. "I hope you're happy you little prick" he spat out viciously.

"Wh-what?" Sammy questioned as he looked up into the scornful eyes of his father wondering what he had done now.

"First you try to kill your brother and now your taking medical help away from him because poor little Sammy is suffering from shock. Do you hate your brother so much that you don't want him to get well?

"Daddy please, I did-didn't mean to-to hurt…"

"Shut your frigging mouth boy. I don't want to hear it. You and me are going to have a long serious talk once I get you away from everybody. You hear me boy?"

"Yes Sir" Sam answered meekly as he lowered his eyes, he knew damned good and well what his father meant by those words. "M'sorry sir."

"You always are Sammy, but that damned sure isn't going to help your brother now is it?" John questioned as he watched Sam's eyes starting to droop, the sedative finally kicking in. He glared at his youngest letting him know just how upset he was with him until Sammy finally succumbed to sleep due to the effects of the sedative

_*****Meanwhile inside Dean's treatment room*****_

"Alright people, This young man is suffering from severe trauma to the upper right quadrant of the abdominal area meaning time is of the essence if any internal organs were hit" Dr. Early called out as they wheeled Dean into treatment room five and locked the brakes on the gurney. He immediately began to assess Dean as he pulled the stethoscope from around his neck and listened to Dean's heart and lungs while a nurse took his pulse and blood pressure and applied an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. He knew that once the knife entered the body, it could have been deflected and penetrated any one of the vital organs located within the abdominal cavity where he was stabbed such as the liver or kidney. "Somebody get this man's clothing cut off and call the lab. I need an MRI stat to determine if any internal organs were affected by the stabbing."

"Yes Doctor" Nurse Shannon called out as she grabbed a pair of sharp shears and began cutting Dean's shirt off while her colleague Alicia called the lab. She winced in sympathy when she saw the jagged edge of the penetrating knife wound after removing the shirt. She then stood by waiting for instructions as she watched Dr. Early gently palpitating the young blonde's abdomen checking for distension or rigidity which would signify internal bleeding.

Once they had him stabilized enough for movement, Dean's gurney was pushed to the MRI lab so that the doctor could get a clear view of what was going on inside his body. Upon arriving at the lab, the technologist and his assistant transferred Dean who was no dressed in only a backless hospital gown onto the table that would slide him into the cylindrical type machine making sure his shoulders were snug against the plastic device that would also keep his neck and head still with the imaging was taking place. Ear plugs were then placed into his ears even though he was unconscious to protect his eardrums. Once the preparations were complete, the technician pushed a button that slowly moved the MRI table into the machine with Dean entering head first. He took a series of scans over a forty minute period that would give the doctor a detailed view of Dean's inner body.

After viewing the series of scans intensely, Dr. Early breathed a sigh of relief knowing that his patient had virtually escaped a bullet with this one. The knife must have hit one of his ribs going into his body which deflected it away from his liver. Just a quarter of an inch higher, and Dean could have been facing some serious complications from a punctured or lacerated liver. Now he just had to make sure that Dean didn't get a serious infection from any bacteria that could have been present of the knife when he was stabbed.

After Dean was taken back to the ER treatment room, Dr. Early thoroughly cleaned and sutured the wound which required thirty stitches to close---fifteen of them on the inside and the other fifteen to suture up the outer layer of skin. Once he was finished, he instructed one of the nurses to hang and IV with saline solution to help replace the fluids that Dean had lost through blood loss. He also ordered that IV to be piggybacked by a broad spectrum antibiotic to stave off any chance of infection setting in. He then had his patient moved to the Intensive Care Unit for close observation over the next twenty four hours.

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As John sat by Sammy's bedside playing the worried father, he heard the treatment room door open and looked up to see a man of approximately fifty years old wearing a doctor's coat walk into the room. He sighed and stood up upon recognizing the doctor as the one who had initially treated Dean when he was brought in. He ran his left hand through his disheveled hair as he waited to see just how bad the news was about his oldest.

"Hello Mr. Campbell, my name is Dr. Chester Early and I've been treating your oldest son" the doctor said as he reached out to shake John's hand. "You'll be happy to know that your son escaped what could have been a very serious injury today. We did an MRI on him to check for internal injuries and I am happy to report that Dean came through with flying colors. When the knife entered into his abdominal cavity, it most likely ricocheted off of one of his ribs thereby protecting his liver and other vital organs from being lacerated. I cleaned and sutured his wound and Dean is now resting comfortably in the ICU He is still unconscious, but he should wake up once he regains his strength."

John listened intently as the doctor described what all had happened with Dean. He began to relax as he found out that Deans' injuries weren't life threatening as he had feared but then tensed immediately upon hearing that Dean was in the ICU. "If Dean came through the MRI with flying colors, why is he now in the ICU?" John questioned anxiously.

"Let me assure you John that it is just a precaution. I want him observed closely for the next twenty four hour for signs of infection or a drop in blood pressure which can be a common occurrence with stabbing wounds. If Dean makes it through these first twenty four hours without any problems, I will have him moved to a regular room. Would you like me to have a nurse come sit with your other son while I take you to visit Dean?" Dr Early questioned in part to alleviate the father's fears.

"That would be wonderful, thanks" John answered quickly desperate to see with his own eyes that Dean was truly alive and doing well. After the doctor had paged for a nurse, it only took a few minutes for Nurse Shannon to arrive and for John to be escorted to Dean's room. He gasped when he walked in to see so many wires hooked up to Dean.

"Relax Mr. Campbell, Dean is just hooked up to a heart monitor as a precaution. The machine will monitor his blood pressure every ten minutes to make sure there is no unexpected drop in pressure due to the blood loss he suffered from. The IV is delivering the fluids his body needs to recover as well as the antibiotics to stop any infections from building. And the oxygen is also just a precautionary measure to make breathing easier for him until he retains consciousness once again" the doctor informed John to explain the wires and leads that were connected to Dean. "I'll leave the two of you alone now." Dr. LaSala stated before walking out of the room.

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As Shannon sat with her young patient. She couldn't help but notice the frown lines that marred his young face even in sleep. She wondered what could be weighing so heavily on his mind that he couldn't even rest peacefully. She reached out to lay a hand on his chest hoping to provide a little comfort to the youngster, but his movements only seemed to intensify. 'Shh, you're alright, try to rest" she cooed as her young patients movements became even more frantic. She was taken aback as the young man suddenly shot up in the bed and screamed.

Sammy tossed and turned as the stabbing replayed in his head over and over in his medicated mind. He watched himself falling and Dean reaching out to catch him. He watched as the knife sank deep within his brother's chest. He gasped as blood frothed from Dean's lips and his brother gave him an accusatory stare. His young mind shattered as Dean voiced "Why Sammy, why did you kill me?" before collapsing to the ground.

"Noooo, I didn't mean to. Oh God, I killed my brother, I killed Dean" Sammy screamed in terror as he shot up in bed, tears falling in torrents from his eyes. He immediately began to shiver violently realizing that he was responsible for taking his brother's life.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 3 **

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I am only playing with them for a little while until I have to return them. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: ****I have been getting strong reactions to John's behavior---I promise there is a reason he is being such an a** and it will be revealed in later chapters. **

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**Previously: **"_Noooo, I didn't mean to. Oh God, I killed my brother, I killed Dean" Sammy screamed in terror as he shot up in bed, tears falling in torrents from his eyes. He immediately began to shiver violently realizing that he was responsible for taking his brother's life._

Nurse Shannon pulled the screaming and terrified teen into her arms and gently rocked him in a calming motion back and forth. "Shh, it's okay baby, your brother's going to be fine. I promise you that you didn't kill him. Please calm down sweetie." Shannon hated seeing the boy so upset and could only imagine how horrible the nightmare must have been that caused him to have such a violent reaction upon waking. She kept whispering gentle words of assurance to him hoping that he wouldn't have to be sedated again.

"Ye-yes I did" Sam sobbed through hitched breaths. "I didn't mean to stab Dean I swear and now he'd dead and it's all my fault" Sam cried as he tried to withdraw from the nurse's comforting arms. He didn't deserve to be comforted right now, not after what he had done.

"How about if I prove it to you Sam, will you calm down if I show you that your brother is still alive, that he is going to be alright?" The nurse asked hoping to reach the struggling teen in her arms.

Sammy gave off some shuddering breaths as he glanced at the nurse with hopeful eyes. Could she be right and everything he had just witnessed was a nightmare of epic proportions? Was his brother actually alive? Unable to voice his thoughts through the huge lump in his throat, Sam shook his head in an affirmative manner.

"Okay sweetie, you stay right here while I go get your chariot and I'll take you up to your brother's room" Shannon informed him with a smile on her face. She knew she could get into trouble for taking the teen up to the ICU without the doctor's permission, but this kid's state of mind was more important right now. She wasn't willing to watch him totally disintegrate before her eyes if she could do something about it. Returning to Sam's room a moment later, she helped the shaky child off of his hospital bed and into the chair. Giving him a small pat on his lap, she walked around to the back of the chair and grasped the handles and started pushing him toward the elevator.

The elevator ride up to the fifth floor was relatively quiet with the only sound being that of Sammy's hitched breaths every so often. He wanted so bad to believe what the nurse had said was true, but was afraid of getting his hopes up and shattering into a million tiny peaces if she was wrong. He watched as the elevator doors slid open and then held his breath as the nurse pushed them down the hallway. His nose twitched as they neared the Intensive Care Unit due to the string smell of antiseptic cleaner the janitor was using as he mopped the floor. As they approached, the janitor stopped swishing his broom and smiled as they passed by.

The closer they got to the room, Sam started hearing voices drifting out into the hallway. He recognized one of them as his dad's but he wasn't talking in a harsh tone like he had done with him earlier, his tone was now more one of concern, and could that be caring in his voice? His heart soon soared as he heard the sound of another voice, a voice that he would recognize anywhere since that very same voiced had comforted him and soothed him throughout his whole life.

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As John sat and watched his oldest child sleeping, he thought about the words he had said to his youngest and what they had done to Sammy. He knew the kid had been devastated beyond reason, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. For some reason, he felt the fires of rage burning where his baby boy was concerned and the fires couldn't be quenched. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, that he should have been trying to comfort his youngest, but Sammy deserved what he was getting for being so frigging careless didn't he? He was soon drawn from his musings as he heard the sound of movement coming from Dean's bed. He looked affectionately towards his first born as he saw his eyelids flutter and then open.

"Hey Ace, how are you feeling?" John questioned as he ran his fingers through Dean's short blonde hair.

"M'okay I guess. What 'appened?" Dean asked with a groan as he tried to shift himself on the bed.

"You and your brother were training and Sammy stabbed you with the knife" John answered. "Don't you remember?"

"Ye-yeah, wasn't Sammy's fault, he stum-stumbled over something" Dean answered tiredly. "Is he alright, where's my brother? Need to see-see him, tell him it wasn't his fault."

"He's resting right now, the doctor's were worried about him suffering from shock, you can see him later" John informed his oldest keeping his angry feeling about Sammy hidden. Of course Dean wouldn't blame the kid, Sammy could do no wrong in his eyes. He wished Dean would start thinking about his own self for once and not focus on his baby brother.

"Gotta see Sammy, help me, pl-please" Dean said as he grabbed the side rail of the bed trying to pull himself up. "I know he's blaming himself, he'll only get worse. Can't let that happen."

"Damn it Dean, you've got to be still. You're going to aggravate that knife wound and open the sutures" John scolded as he gently pushed his son back down.

Looking up with tears in his eyes, Dean pleaded "Please Dad, I need my brother. Either bring him to me, or I'm getting out of this bed and going to him myself."

"Okay, just calm down kiddo. You get some rest and I'll talk to the doctors about having Sammy brought up here for a visit" John replied to calm his son's frayed nerves. He brushed a thumb up and down Dean's cheek as he saw his eyelids begin to flutter once more until Dean relaxed into a medicated slumber once again.

Dean had only been asleep for a moment when he heard the door to the room open and looked over to see a nurse enter the room and pushing Sammy in a wheelchair. He put his finger to his lips to indicate that Dean was sleeping as he walked over to meet them. He smiled at the nurse before focusing his attention on Sammy. "What are you doing out of bed Sam? You know the doctor said you needed to be resting."

"Yes Sir, M'sorry" Sam mumbled as he hung his head. I'll get back to my room."

"Please don't blame your son sir. It was my idea to bring him up here" Nurse Shannon stated in defense of her young patient. "He was just so upset earlier when he woke up from a nightmare thinking that he had killed his brother. I was worried about his state of mind so I brought him here to show him that his brother was still alive."

"Thank you for being so concerned" John said with a smile. "I'll take Sammy back to his room to rest since his brother is sleeping right now. Maybe he can come back later." John took the handles to Sammy's wheelchair and guided him out of the room. He slowly pushed him back down the hallway and waited until the elevator stopped on their floor. He spun the chair around and then pulled it backwards inside the elevator, happy that they were alone. "Just what the hell did you think you were doing?" John questioned with an icy voice.

"I just needed to.."

"I don't care what you needed Sam. You just keep your ass away from Dean until I say different, you hear me boy?"

"Yes Sir, I won't bother you or Dean again" Sam answered as the door pinged open and John pushed him back to his room. Sam got out of the wheelchair and climbed back into his bed as he watched his father walk back to the door.

"I'm going to go back up to Dean's room. I don't want him to get upset if he wakes to find nobody there." Sam watched as his father left the room without even a backwards glance.

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As Sam sat dejectedly in his bed, he thought about the words that his dad had said about Dean not surviving to see the age of twenty one with him as a brother. The more he thought about things, the more he began to believe his dad. Dean was always putting himself between him and danger, Sam couldn't count how many times Dean had been hurt because of protecting him. If he didn't put a stop to it now, he would surely lose his brother.

Knowing what he had to do, Sam pushed himself up off the bed and walked over to the closet where his clothing was hanging. He quickly pulled on his dirty jeans along with the button up shirt and hoodie before pulling on his sneakers and tying them. He peeked out into the hall to see it empty and walked outside of his room. He lowered his head so as not to be recognized and began his walk towards the exit. He had no idea where he would go, he just knew that he couldn't stay with his family anymore.

As he exited the sliding glass doors, Sam wrapped his arms around himself as he began to shiver. He couldn't believe how much colder it had gotten over the past eighteen hours. He scanned around trying to figure out which way he should go. He was so focused on Dean during the drive in that he never paid attention to the surrounding area. Sighing in defeat, he started walking straight ahead figuring that once he got to the road, he would flip a coin to decide which way to go. He had only walked approximately ten feet when he stopped to glance back towards the hospital. Looking up the floor that he thought his big brother must have been staying on, he whispered "I'm so sorry for hurting you Dean. I know I'm not the brother you need. You need someone who has their head in the game and it obviously isn't me. I can't risk you dying because I'm so damned worthless as a hunter." Sam allowed the tears to flow once more as he said "Oh God I'm going to miss you. Please take care of yourself big brother."

After reaching the road and flipping the lone quarter that was in his pocket, Sam started walking down the road headed in a westerly direction. He knew he would need to find some kind of shelter soon since it was getting dark and a motel was out the options since he only had a five dollar bill on him. Maybe once he got to the less than desirable side of town, he would be able to find an abandoned building and pick the lock. At least that would give him a roof over his head and a place to kick back and figure out what he would do next.

As Sam walked by the bus stop, he didn't take any notice of the little old lady sitting there with a small cat in her lap as he trudged past. But stations would be one of the first places his dad would start looking for him, that is if he even cared to notice that he had left the hospital. No, he would just have to make his own way around by foot, especially since he just wasn't comfortable with hitch hiking after all of the horror stories Dean had told him.

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This is working out so much better than I had planned the little old lady with gleaming gold speckled eyes cackled as she pet the black cat purring in her lap. The small family was already disintegrating because of her wonderfully creative mind. By the time I am finish with his family, John Winchester will never know what hit him.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 4 **

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I am only playing with them for a little while until I have to return them. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all of the anonymous reviewers that I couldn't reply to personally. Hope everybody enjoys this latest chapter.

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**Previously: **_This is working out so much better than I had planned the little old lady with gleaming gold speckled eyes cackled as she pet the black cat purring in her lap. The small family was already disintegrating because of her wonderfully creative mind. By the time she was finished with his family, John Winchester would never know what hit him._

As the effects of the pain medication began to wear off and he became more lucid, Dean began to recall the events of the past twenty four hours. He could vividly remember the look of complete and utter horror on Sammy's face when the knife blade sunk deep into his own stomach. He could vaguely recall hearing Sammy whispering over and over that he didn't mean to do it, that it was an accident, as they made their way to the hospital. Later, he remembered pleading with his dad to see Sammy and his dad's promise to talk to the doctors. Glancing towards the door, he wondered if his dad was doing so right now since he wasn't in the room. He couldn't stand the thought of Sammy being by himself right now knowing the thoughts that were most likely running through his head. And he didn't know why, but he could feel that something was off and he just knew it was something to do with his baby brother. He was drawn out of his musings as he heard the door open and looked up to see his dad entering the room.

As John walked in the door of Dean's room, he was surprised to see that Dean was already awake and that he was nervously tapping his fingers on the bed. He was perplexed as to how Dean could have gotten into such an agitated state while he had been gone. Sure, he decided to stop by the cafeteria to get something to eat after having left Sammy's room--but he had only been gone for a little over an hour or two. He was about to question his oldest about what had him so upset, but Dean started talking first.

"Finally, it's about damn time you got back. Did you talk to the doctor? When can I see Sammy?"

"Slow down Ace. No, I haven't had a chance to talk to your doctor yet. He's been working on another emergency case so you're just going to have to wait. I just saw Sammy not too long ago and he's doing fine so you don't have to worry" John stated trying to alleviate Dean's worries.

"No dad, you're wrong. I can feel it in my bones. Something is definitely off with Sammy and I need to see him right now damn it" Dean said with conviction as he began to pull himself up to a sitting position using the side rail.

"DEAN STOP" John bellowed as he watched the beads of perspiration break out on his son's forehead with the effort of trying to sit up. "I am not going to just stand by an allow you to hurt yourself any more than what you already are. You just lay back and relax. That's an order son."

"Yeah, well you can take that order and shove it where the sun doesn't shine" Dean informed his dad in his determination to find out what was wrong with the younger brother he would gladly give his life for.

"You may be nineteen and a man in your own right, but I'm still your father and you will NOT talk to me that way" John stated with a tinge of anger in his voice. He expected this kind of talk from Sammy, but Dean had always been his obedient soldier.

"I'm sorry dad, but I'm telling you that something is seriously wrong. I know it like I know my name is Dean Winchester and that my mother was killed by a frigging demon. Now I am telling you one last time, either you bring my baby brother to me or I am signing myself out AMA and going to him." Dean stared his father directly into the eyes as he folded his arms across his chest in a show of defiance. There was no way his dad was going to make him back down from this threat.

From the look on his face and the way he was postured, John knew he would never be able to stare Dean down with this one. Dean was too determined and nothing he said or did would change Dean's mind. "Okay, okay. I'll buzz the nurses desk and ask them to bring Sammy here" John said finally caving to Dean's wishes as he reached over to push the call button.

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As he walked down the sidewalk entering the seedier side of town, Sam constantly scanned his surroundings for any possible threat. He knew the dangers of being out there on his own at only fourteen years of age, but he didn't have any other option. He would learn to live as a kid on the streets as long as it meant that Dean would be alive and healthy. He would never again be the reason for Dean getting hurt. As he saw two stumbling drunks approaching, he lowered his head and stepped to the side, the less people who saw his face the better it would be once his family started looking for him. As they got side by side, Sammy was suddenly knocked sideways into the building beside him as one of the men accidentally lost his balance and stumbled into him.

"Sorrrryyy, 'bout that kiddd (hiccup), didn't hurrtttt ya did (hiccup) I?" the filthy man slurred as he kept jerking his head up showing his drunken and glazed eyes.

"No. M'fine" Sam quickly mumbled as he pushed away from them and hurried around the corner. Once alone, he emitted a full body shiver as he thought about the overpowering stench of booze on the man's breath and the feelings of his hands on his body as he pushed himself away. "_Damn it, get yourself together Sam, how are you ever going to survive on your own if you let a couple of drunks bother you"_ he thought as he started walking again. He had gone another two blocks when he noticed that the buildings were becoming more dilapidated the further he went. Now he would just have to find one that was abandoned and he would at least have a roof over his head until he could find better accommodations.

Fifteen minutes later, he found what he thought would be the perfect place until he saw the graffiti that was spray painted on the wall. This building was obviously home to a gang and he knew better than to even think about staying there. He knew damned well what could happen to him if he invaded their turf and wasn't about to take any chances with his life. Worried that things could get worse the further he went, he started backtracking intent on getting as far away from the gang as possible.

He had been walking for the better part of five hours when he realized just how hungry he was getting. He decided to use his five dollars to buy some bread and maybe some peanut butter and jelly. At least he would be able to eat for a few days until he could find a way of earning some money for himself.

Reaching into his pocket, he gasped as his hand came out empty. "What the hell" he grumbled as he turned his front right pocket inside out, sure that he had stashed his money in there. He searched his other pockets just to be sure he hadn't placed the money in one of them but still came up empty handed. He felt like crying when he suddenly realized what must have happened. How could he have been so damned stupid to allow that drunk to _"pick" _his pocket. Now he was left with only a quarter that wouldn't even buy him a damned candy bar. "Son of a bitch" he swore as he balled up his fist and hit the lamp post beside him.

He didn't take much time to wallow in his misery as he realized how late it was getting. He had to find a place quick or he would be spending the night on the streets. He quickly surveyed his surroundings and saw a building at the end of the street with broken windows and a boarded up door. He quickly jogged down the street and walked around to the back of the building making sure that nobody followed. He used his sleeve of his hoodie to wipe away the grime that coated the windows so that he could get a look inside. Peering into the window, he saw a dirty mattress lying on the floor as well as a few nasty sheets beside it. As he continued to scrutinize the rest of the room, he saw a porcelain sink with brown water stains and an old commode with a cracked seat on it.

Reaching down into the knife sheath that was strapped to his left ankle, Sammy pulled out the small knife that was tucked into it. He was damned lucky that it hadn't been found at the hospital or he would be up the proverbial creek without a paddle. He stuck his knife into the window and jimmied the lock. It took him a little over five minutes but he was able to release the lock and push the window up. He scanned his surroundings once more for any signs of danger before slipping inside the room and shutting the window behind him. He returned the lock into place and then sighed as he looked around.

"Damn this place stinks" he voiced aloud even though no one was around to hear him. He hoped he could find something to clean the place up a little not wanting to catch some nasty disease from the filth. He shuddered once more as he looked to the mattress and seen the rat droppings that lay on top of it. _"Dean would freak" _he thought wistfully already missing his big brother so much that his heart was aching. Spotting a few wooden cupboards, he walked over and opened them. He immediately smiled upon noticing a container of salt. At least he would be able to salt the window and the door of the small apartment to keep out any unwanted guests. Looking over the other shelves, he saw a few tin cans of old food but was afraid to chance eating the contents since they were extremely rusty and bent. He'd most likely get food poison if he dared consume the contents. No, he would just have to wait until tomorrow and find a way of earning a few dollars to buy himself some food.

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As Dean waited for the nurses to bring his baby brother for a visit. He thought about what he would say to convince Sammy that the stabbing wasn't his fault. He would take the blame for not thoroughly checking out the area for any obstacles that could cause one of them to get hurt. He would tell Sammy that he should have noticed the moss covered stone that caused him to slip and fall. He would also mention how Sammy couldn't be at fault since he was the one that decided to reach out and stop his descent, even though he knew Sammy held a sharp knife within his grasp. He didn't care how long it took or what he had to say, he would make damned sure that Sam knew he was innocent of any wrong doing, the blame was not his to carry on his too young shoulders. After thirty minutes had passed and they still hadn't brought his brother in to see him, he began to worry.

"Hey dad, would you go check with the nurses station and see what is taking them so long" Dean asked as he gazed at his father with imploring eyes.

"They're probably busy Dean, just give it a little while longer. I'm sure that they'll bring Sammy up as soon as they have a few free minutes to spare"

"It's been thirty minutes already" Dean grumbled petulantly upset with his dad for being so nonchalant about it. Couldn't his dad sense what he was feeling, that something was amiss.

"Have you forgotten Dean that you are in the ICU? The nurses here are busier than anywhere else. I'm sure they'll…" John trailed off as he saw Sam's doctor walk in the room with an anxious and concerned look on his face.

"Is something wrong doc?" John questioned wondering what Sammy had done this time.

"Uh, could I talk to you outside Mr. Campbell?" Dr. Early questioned not wanting to put any undue stress on Dean. He was afraid of what the news that his brother was missing would do to him.

John was about to answer when Dean spoke up. "Don't even think about it dad. I have the right to know what is happening." Turning to the doctor he said, "I know something is wrong so just give it to us straight. What's wrong with my baby brother?"

Looking over towards John, Dr. Chester Early saw John give his assent to continue. "I'm not sure what happened, but Sam is not in his room. We have searched the hospital and cannot find any signs of him being here" Dr. Early informed the adult members of Sam's family. After delivering the unwelcome news, he became immediately concerned as he saw Dean's heart monitor spike and his breathing become erratic.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 5 **

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I am only playing with them for a little while until I have to return them. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all of the anonymous reviewers that I couldn't reply to personally. Hope everybody enjoys this latest chapter.

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**Previously**_ "I'm not sure what happened, but Sam is not in his room. We have searched the hospital and cannot find any signs of him being here" Dr. Early informed the adult members of Sam's family. After delivering the unwelcome news, he became immediately concerned as he saw Dean's heart monitor spike and his breathing become erratic._

"Damn it, I knew this would happen" Dr. Early grumbled as he rushed over to Dean's bed. He noticed straight away how much color had drained from Dean's face and that he was visibly shaking. He also had a light sheen of sweat beginning to shine on his face and his skin was taking on a blotchy appearance. The doctor quickly pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and placed it on Dean's chest confirming his suspicion of a rapid heartbeat with palpitations. "Dean, I need you to calm down for me son. You can't help your brother if you pass out. I need you to talk a slow, deep breath for me. That's right--breathe in, now exhale." Dr, Early guided Dean through the breathing exercise while he watched John massage the back of Dean's neck.

Dean felt an instant onset of panic as soon as he heard the words that Sammy was missing. He started feeling a tingling sensation in his hands and his face and then they started to go numb. He wanted to concentrate on what the doctor was saying to him, but he felt extremely light headed. And just why the hell did it feel like he couldn't breathe. He could see the blackness encroaching on the edge of his vision and thought he would pass out until he felt the comforting sensation of hands gently massaging his neck. As those fingers worked their magic, he was able to draw in oxygen and breathe a little easier. He concentrated on catching snatches of the words the doctor was saying. "_You need....calm....can't help.....brother....slow deep breath..." _As Dean concentrated on slowing his breathing, he felt the tightness in his chest disappear as he began to breathe more normally.

"That's it, your doing great Ace" John said as he noticed Dean's breathing become more regular. He noticed that Dean's skin was returning to a more normal color and that most of the blotchiness had begun to disappear. He looked over to see that Dr. Early had a smile on his face as he glanced towards the heart monitor which clearly showed that his heart rate had returned to a more normal level. As he watched his oldest, John couldn't help but think that even when he wasn't anywhere around, Sammy still had managed to mess up things. He was soon drawn from his ruminations however at the sound of Dean's shaky voice.

"What do you mean Sammy's missing? Where the hell is my baby brother doc?" Dean's voice held a quivering tone to it as he fought to control his emotions.

What I mean is that your brother decided to leave of his own accord. At first we thought he might have went to the cafeteria or something like that, but after conducting a thorough search, your brother wasn't found. Upon searching his room, we found that his jacket had been removed from the closet and that a witness reported seeing him leave the hospital. Security is reviewing the tapes right now to confirm this" Dr. Early stated in answer to Dean's question.

"How the hell could you have allowed..." Dean started to yell in anger before being interrupted by his dad.

"Relax Ace, Sammy probably just went for a stroll. You know as well as I do that the kid can be damned irritating at times thinking only about himself without disregard for others."

"What? Are you nuts?" Dean questioned with a total look of disbelief on his face. How could his dad be so unconcerned that his youngest child was missing? Suddenly, things became clear and Dean really needed some time alone with his father. "Uh doc, could you give us some time alone?" Dean questioned assuring his doctor that he would be fine.

The doctor had no sooner left the room than Dean turned to face his father once again, anger clearly evident on his face.. "What the hell did you do?"

"What do you mean what the hell did I do? I didn't do a damned thing. It was that stupid assed brother of yours who put you in here so don't you..." John started to say before being cut off by Dean.

"Stupid. Assed. Brother! Are you frigging insane? It was an accident dad. Sammy slipped, it wasn't his fault." Dean seethed. It was totally unfathomable to him that his dad was actually blaming Sammy for what happened. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself once again, he asked "What did you say to Sammy while I was unconscious dad? I know you had to have said something because he wouldn't have left for no reason."

"Maybe I said a few words that hurt the little brat's feeling about almost killing you, but that's no reason to blame me for him taking off. That was Sam's own stupidity kicking in." John gritted through clenched teeth.

"You son of a bitch. How could you put that weight onto his shoulders. He's only fourteen years old dad, he's just a kid."

"A kid who is going to get you killed if he isn't careful" John gritted out in anger clearly exasperated with the direction the conversation was taking.

"Oh my God, you actually said those words to him didn't you dad. That's why he ran off, because you had him convinced that he would be the death of me" Dean said in sudden revelation.

"Well it's true" John intoned as he swiped a hand across his beard. "You're always throwing yourself in front of danger for him and it's going to get you killed one day."

"I don't even know who you are anymore. Just get the hell out of my room" Dean told his father as he glared at him. "I can't even stand the sight of you right now."

"Damn it Dean, I was just trying to watch out for you, to keep you…"

"Don't even think about saying something so damned preposterous dad. Please just go, even the sight of you is making me sick right now."

John sighed and relented to do as Dean wished. He could tell that their argument was taking a toll on Dean and didn't want to make his son worse. Before walking away, he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and said, "I love you kiddo. I know you're upset with me right now but I'm sure you'll come to understand my point of view later." After glancing at his son one last time, John walked out of the room to give Dean the time and space he needed to think.

After his dad had left the room, Dean reached over and picked up the phone on the small stand beside his bed. He quickly dialed a number he knew by heart and waited for three rings before it was finally answered. "Bobby, I need your help!"

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As evening neared, a sweet old lady could be seen sitting on a park bench near the front of the hospital as she serenely petted the black cat held firmly in her arms. She smiled politely as visitors to the hospital passed by and wished her a good evening. Little did those fools know that she was there to rejoice in the pain that was emanating so richly from the fifth floor of the hospital. She could literally taste the suffering and distress that the oldest child was giving off in waves. The pain that she had worked so tirelessly to inflict was now coming to fruition. The spell she had cast on the oldest Winchester was working even better than she could have dreamed.

As she continued her observation, she soon felt the unabashed anger and frustration that the cursed hunter was beginning to emit. _"Serves him right" _she thought as she continued to pet the cat curled up in her lap. John Winchester had waltzed into her life just a few short months ago and taken away everything that she had ever cared about. As she soaked up the despair and anger coming from the fifth floor, she remembered that day so clearly in her mind that it seemed to have happened only yesterday.

"_My sister's we gather tonight to celebrate the rising of the blood moon. Soon we will offer our sacrifices to he who bestows the powers of darkness upon us. We will soon rid this land of all those do-gooders who make our lives a living hell. No longer will we be forced to hide in darkness as we practice our black magic. Soon our kind will rule this land and humankind will bow down before us and submit to our every whim Let the sacrifice begin."_

_She watched as her coven of sisters dragged a screaming blonde female up to the altar and tied her down with her arms outstretched. She reached down and ripped the clothing from the girls body exposing her naked chest and breasts. She dipped her hands into the golden goblet near the screaming blonde's head and drew her coven's sacred signs in blood upon the pristine skin as the girl heaved uncontrollably. She started raising the ceremonial dagger to complete the offering when pandemonium broke loose. _

_She looked up to see a small group of damnable hunters led by John Winchester, hunter extraordinaire entering into their mists. She heard her sisters scream out in agony as the hunters took them down one by one. Using her familiar's magical powers of protection, she slipped off into the night vowing to get revenge on the bastards who dared take her family from her starting with the mighty John Winchester._

"And so it begins my pet" the silver haired witch crooned to her familiar as she scratched behind his ears. "The hunter has driven away his youngest with cruelness thanks to the spell I cast upon him and now his oldest shuns him not knowing that his father is under a spell. Soon, I will make myself known to the hunter and force him to watch as I torture and sacrifice his youngest up to the very demon he fights so hard to kill.

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As night descended upon his humble little abode, Sam flipped over the mattress and lay down upon it since it was too damned dark to do anything else. He allowed his mind to wander to the hospital and wondered what Dean was doing now. Was he awake? Was he in pain? Did Dean even know yet that he had taken off? Would Dean be able to forgive him some day? He folded up his jacket and pillowed it under his head as he pulled the tattered old blanket that he had found over him. He wished for sleep to overtake him as his stomach rumbled loudly due to the lack of food.

He allowed tears to quietly roll down his face as loneliness unlike anything he had ever felt overtook him again. He wasn't used to staying by himself overnight, especially not in a rat infested hole like the one he was staying in now. On the rare occasions when he was left behind, Dean had always made sure that they were staying in a decent place and that the locks on the door were secured. And with unfailing accuracy, Dean would call him by eleven o'clock at night to tell him to get his ass into bed and have a good night which was his brother's way of saying _"I love you kiddo." _How he wished he could hear Dean's voice right now. He needed the security of knowing that Dean was thinking about him and that he didn't hate him.

He had nearly drifted off to sleep when he heard the sounds of gunfire in the distance startling him awake once again. "Holy crap" he whispered as he got up and pushed the mattress he had been sleeping on over by the wall. He sat down in the corner at the top and wrapped his arms around his knees. He placed his head upon his knees and began to hum the tune to _Back in Black _as he started rocking himself back and forth. As he continuously hummed, the only thought that ran through his mind was _"Oh God, I need you Dean."_

_**TBC**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 6**_

_**Disclaimer: **__Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!_

_**Author's Note:**__ I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but I am CELEBRATING. My football team---- __**The PIITSBURGH STEELERS--- are GOING to the SUPER BOWL!!!!**_

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_**Previously:**__Sam placed his head upon his knees and began to hum the tune to __Back in Black __as he started rocking himself back and forth. As he continuously hummed, the only thought that ran through his mind was "Oh God, I need you Dean."_

Sam woke up a few hours later to a major cramp in his back and sunlight streaming through the window. He ground his knuckles into his too tired eyes as he stood up and stretched trying to get the kinks out of his back. The slight movement caused his stomach to rumble and he groaned at the nauseous feeling of not having had anything to eat in a while_. "Damn, I wish I could brush my teeth to get this nasty taste out of mouth" _he thought as he sat down and pulled on his shoes. As he tied the laces, he remembered passing by a fast food restaurant not too far from where he was staying yesterday. He knew that most places like that would throw out food that had not been purchased in a certain length of time. All he had to do to get some food now would be to scavenge through their trash until he found some still wrapped and untouched.

Pulling on his jacket, he levered himself out of the window and closed it securely before traipsing down the sidewalk. He pulled his jacket tightly around him to keep the biting wind from freezing him to the bone. After fifteen minutes of walking, he stood at the rear of the restaurant and waited for the employees to finish their cigarettes and go back inside. He smiled when he saw the coast was clear and walked over to the trash dumpsters that were hidden behind the partition. He could scavenge in them without being noticed. Ripping open the first bag, he groaned as his hand came away covered in some sticky substance. He didn't want to even think about what it might be as he tossed empty wrappers with half eaten food aside. Tossing the nasty food away, he kept searching until his eyes landed on a heavenly prize. There for the taking was a still wrapped sausage and egg croissant. "Yahtzee" he stated as a smile overtook his face. He quickly unwrapped the sandwich and stuffed half of it into his mouth. He wondered when he had last eaten something that tasted so good. After swallowing, he tossed the other half into his mouth and then scavenged for more food. By the time he was finished, he had found enough food to last him for a few days if he were careful.

He stuffed the food into the cleanest plastic bag he could find and then silently slipped away from the dumpster thankful for his good luck. He had started back on the way to his place when he noticed two men who sat huddled near a fire barrel in the alley. They looked to be about his dad's age and he wondered what had happened to force them to live on the streets. He saw the men look over towards him and eye the bag that was in his hand before sadly looking away. Sam felt guilty as he realized it had probably been a long time since they had eaten a good meal. Sticking two of the croissants into his pocket for later on, he carefully walked down the sidewalk and approached the men. He didn't know what to say so he placed the bag on the ground beside their feet and gave them a warm smile before walking away. As he walked, he heard them talking about how he must have been an angel to know how hungry they were and providing them with the first real sustenance they had had in three days. Sam smiled his first smile in days as he walked away from the men. It was nice to hear some praise about himself for a change instead of the condemnation that always came from his dad.

As he walked by some stores, he wondered if he could get a job stocking shelves or something. He knew he was underage, but maybe they would be willing to hire him for just a day or so. He was about to walk into a grocery store when he took stock of the way he looked. There was no way in hell anybody would want to hire him with the blood stains on his jeans and hoodie from where Dean had bled on him. He would have to find a place to wash his clothing or steal some from the many people who hung their clothes out in this godforsaken part of town. Before he knew it, he arrived back at his place and let himself back in through the window. He would try to wash his clothing out in the old stained bathtub and go back out later this evening.

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Bobby ran a hand through his hair as he made his drive towards the hospital, he had driven all night and half the day in his need to get there as soon as possible. Dean had scared the living shit out of him when he called informing him that he was hurt and Sammy had run away because of their dad. He couldn't wait to see John Winchester and knock some damn sense into his head. How could he have been such a damned idjit to actually blame his youngest for trying to kill Dean. Hell, it was obvious that Sammy worshipped the ground that Dean walked on to every hunter that had ever met them. And now his little tiger was out there in the frigging city by himself with God knows what happening to him.

He breathed an audible sigh of relief as St. Joseph's hospital came into view. He would finally be able to get some answers to exactly what had happened and what the hell was running through John's mind. As he pulled into the hospital parking garage, he prayed that Dean hadn't signed himself out AMA. He had warned him to stay put and not do anything stupid until he arrived and by God he would kick the boy's ass from here to Alaska if he hadn't listened. Walking into the hospital, he stopped at the nurses desk and identified himself as Dean's uncle. He was relieved to hear the nurse say that he had been transferred out of the ICU and was now in a regular room, at least the boy was making good progress. Walking over to the elevator, he pushed the button that would take him up to the seventh floor and to room 718. Climbing off the elevator, he glanced at the small sign on the wall and turned left. He had some Winchesters to see.

As he walked down the hall, he could hear the muffled sound of an argument floating out into the hallway and if he wasn't mistaken, it was coming from Dean's room. The closer he got to the room, the more he could hear of the terse conversation going on between the two oldest Winchesters. It was obvious by the pitch of his voice that Dean was highly upset and he wondered just what the hell John was saying to him. Dean didn't need his bullshit right now, especially with his baby brother missing. It pissed Bobby off to no ends that John wasn't out there looking for his youngest, especially with the things he knew could happen.

He wasn't only concerned about the supernatural entities out there either, he was also worried about the perverts and psychos that Sammy could come up against out there in the city by himself. He knew Sammy had been trained to fight, but he had also been sheltered from the dangers of society from his big brother. Bobby shivered as he thought about what could happen if he accidentally stumbled into gang turf. They had to find the kid and find him quick. As he finally stood by the door, Bobby heard John's harsh words to his oldest. Turning the doorknob, Bobby hollered "What the hell did you just say you damned idjit?"

John looked towards the door in surprise when he heard Bobby's unmistakable voice booming in the room. What the hell was he doing here and how did he know that Dean was in the hospital? "Stay the hell out of this Bobby, it doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't" Bobby snapped back in anger. "Your youngest is out there by himself in who knows what kind of trouble and I hear you saying that he deserves what ever the hell happens to him for being so stupid. What the crap is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me. The damn kid almost killed his brother but nobody seems concerned about that. He's not worth worrying over. He just went off to lick his wounds somewhere and he can kiss my..."

John suddenly found himself sitting on the floor and rubbing his aching jaw from the force of Bobby's fist colliding with it. He could feel the blood seeping from the side of his mouth as he licked the wound where his teeth had cut into his cheek. "What the hell did you do that for?' he gritted out as he pushed himself to his feet.

"Don't you EVER say again that Sammy is not worth worrying over. That kid is the light in a lot of our miserable lives and he used to be the light of yours too along with Dean. I don't know what the hell is happening with you right now, but I'm damned sure going to find out. Until then, you better keep your damned mouth shut or you'll be picking yourself up off the floor again only next time I won't be so easy on ya!" Bobby promised as a warning of things to come if John didn't watch himself.

As John glared at him, Bobby pulled a chair over towards Dean's bed and plopped down tiredly upon It. "Alright Ace, tell me everything that happened so that I'll know exactly what I'm facing once I get out there and start looking for your baby brother."

Dean filled Bobby in on the training exercises they had been having over the past week and how the last one had ended up with Sammy slipping on a moss covered rock and accidentally knifing him. He talked to Bobby about how his dad had started acting like an ass, especially where Sammy was concerned and made snide comments every chance he could to hurt the youngest Winchester, it was almost like his dad had taken on a whole knew personality and a bad one at that. After Dean finished talking, he noticed Bobby had a far off look in his eyes and could tell that Bobby was pondering over everything he had just heard.

Looking towards John, Bobby said "Tell me if I'm wrong, but didn't you participate in a hunt not too long ago that tracked down a coven and eradicated it while the boys stayed at my place for a couple of weeks because of them both having the flu?"

"Yeah he was, but what does that have to do with any thing Bobby? Dean answered for his father wondering where Bobby was heading with his line of thought.

"Just think about it Dean. If even one of the coven members escaped, they could have placed a spell on John which would certainly explain his behavior as of late."

"Shit, I didn't even think about that" Dean groaned as he lay back in his bed thinking about how it all made sense now and wondering why the hadn't thought of it earlier. "Bobby, you've got to help me get out of here so we can break the damned spell and go find Sammy before it's too late."

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Later that afternoon after he had stolen a decent pair of jeans and taken care of washing and drying his hoodie, Sam set out to find a job. He would be willing to take anything that was offered to him even mopping the floors as long as he could make a little bit of money. All he needed was to make enough money to eat over the next few days and to buy a ticket to Lawrence which he figured was the one place his family would never look for him.

Walking into the first store on his chosen route, he asked to see the owner but was informed that he was out of town and wouldn't be back for a few days. _"Just my luck" _he thought as he thanked the woman for her help and then exited the building. He continued on down the block stopping in various stores and shops only to be told that they weren't hiring or he was too young to be hired. Knowing that it was getting late, he decided to head back to his place for the night and try again tomorrow. Luckily he had those two sausage croissants waiting on him for dinner.

As the wind started to howl, he pulled the hat on his hoodie over his head and stuck his hands into the pockets to keep them warm and started down the sidewalk. He had only walked two blocks when he was suddenly grabbed from behind and was forced into a side alley. He was roughly pushed against the wall of a building and grunted as his back connected with the unyielding brick wall. Feeling two fists ball up into his jacket, he looked up to see five angry punks standing before him.

"Well what do we have here?" Sneered the boy holding him against the wall. "You trying to invade our turf and take our jobs, our girls?" the greasy haired boy asked with spittle seeping though his yellow stained teeth.

"Look, I don't want any trouble okay. Just let me go and I won't invade your turf again, I swear." Sam said not wanting to have to fight with the odds so obviously stacked against him.

"Well that's just too damned bad pretty boy because trouble is just what we're looking for" snarled the leader.

As the boy raised his fist and swung it towards Sammy's face, he was able to deflect the blow with his left forearm and used his right to land a solid punch on the leader's nose. He noticed the blood spurting from the hoodlum's broken nose as his eyes began to water. He didn't have time to take notice of much else however as the others started in on him. Seeing the one approaching from the left, he thrust out his leg with a solid kick and connected with the stomach which caused the boy to grunt and collapse to his knees in pain. He caught the second opponent with an elbow thrust backwards catching him in the solar plexus causing the boy to collapse unconscious to the ground as his diaphragm reacted to the blow. He turned to face the next opponent and missed the leader making it back to his feet. He immediately felt a great deal of pain as his back seared in white hot agony from a solid punch with what felt like brass knuckles and he fell to his knees.

Sam tried to breathe through the pain of the unexpected attack but felt himself roughly manhandled to a standing position. His eyes watered in pain as his back collided with the wall once again. He felt the putrid breath of the lead punk on his face when the thug got too close for comfort.

"That was a really dumb move on your part boy" he scoffed as he leered at Sam. "Ya know, I bet pretty boy here is a virgin. I think it's time we teach him a painful lesson he'll never forget. Take down his jeans and shove him around, I'm going to get me a piece of that tight pretty boy ass." Sam felt rough hands unsnap his jeans and yank them down. He screamed out in unmitigated terror as he was then forcefully turned around.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 7**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note:**

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**Previously:**_"Ya know, I bet pretty boy here is a virgin. I think it's time we teach him a painful lesson he'll never forget. Take down his jeans and shove him around, I'm going to get me a piece of that tight pretty boy ass." Sam felt rough hands unsnap his jeans and yank them down. He screamed out in unmitigated terror as he was then forcefully turned around._

"Bobby, you've got to help me get out of here" Dean said as he pushed himself up gingerly from the hospital bed in his eagerness to get out there and find hi missing baby brother.

"Hold it right there Dean. I know you want to get started looking for your little brother right away, but there's no sense in going out there tonight. It's already dark and the chances of finding Sammy would be slim to none. We need to wait until tomorrow morning where people will be out on the streets and we can start asking around discretely and showing Sammy's picture in hopes that somebody has seen him" Bobby stated as he gently eased Dean back onto the bed.

"But Bobby, you don't understand. Sammy's been missing for over thirty six hours now and there's no telling what might have happened to him in that amount of time. Damn it Bobby, the kid is only fourteen!" Dean pleaded with glistening green eyes.

"Don't you think I know that Dean. Hell, why do you think I make sure you Winchesters are on a hunt close to me at the end of April every year? It's so that I can make sure that idjit father of your's doesn't forget the kid's birthday."

"Jeez, I never really though about it, but thanks for that Bobby" Dean intoned with honest sincerity, grateful to the man for trying to make Sammy's day special. "But I still think we need to get out there and start looking now. What if he hasn't eaten anything? I can't stand the thought of him being out there alone, cold and hungry."

"Dean, you know as well as I do that Sammy is resourceful when he needs to be. I'm sure the kid will find a way to take care of himself until we can find him and bring him back where he belongs."

"But what if he doesn't Bobby, what if something happens and I'm not there?" Dean questioned as he hung his head. He didn't want Bobby to see the tear slowly drifting down his cheek.

"I know how you feel Ace, I would never forgive myself either if anything happens to the kid because I wasn't there to save him" Bobby said as he ruffled Dean's short blonde hair with his fingers. "I'll tell ya what kid, you just spend the rest of the night here and get a little stronger and I promise I will help you get out of here and find your baby brother first thing in the morning."

"Now hold on just a damned minute" John grumbled not willing to sit quietly any longer. "Dean is my son and you will not take him out of here without my permission Singer."

"I hate to tell ya Johnny boy, but Dean is legally an adult now and he can sign himself out AMA with or without your permission" Bobby pointed out with satisfaction causing John to fume.

"This is my family Bobby, not yours so quit stocking your nose into things where it doesn't belong" John seethed wishing Bobby would just shut the hell up for once.

"If that's so, then you need to get your head out of your ass and start acting like a damned father to your boys instead of their drill sergeant. Besides, you can't honestly tell me right now that you actually give a crap about what happens to Sammy. And until you do, I'll be here for those boys whether you like or not." Bobby stated forcefully as he clenched and unclenched his fists in anger.

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Large tears began rolling down Sammy's face as he tried to break the lock hold that two of the boys had on his arms. How had he allowed himself to get into such a horrifying situation. He pleaded with the boys to just leave him alone but to no avail since their grips only got tighter. He felt the leader of the group put his fingers into the waistband of his boxers and began to violently tremble with huge tears running down his face when he suddenly heard the sweetest words he had ever heard in his life.

"Hey, you sons of bitches get the hell away from that kid" Luke shouted as he took off running towards the hooligans swinging a baseball bat. He and Ben had heard terrified screams coming from the alley and knew they couldn't just stand by and do nothing, they might be homeless but they weren't helpless. They had grabbed the bats they kept for protection and had ran full speed to help. As Luke took out one of the punks with a swing to his legs, he saw Ben taking out another with a blow to the arm. They smiled in satisfaction as they saw the other hoodlums take flight and runaway in fear for their own safety.

They didn't have time to celebrate in their victory however as they witnessed the brown haired kid who was being attacked slump to the ground. They felt immediate concern for the young kid as they saw the shivers that instantly overtook his body as he began to withdraw into himself. "Hey Ben, I think this kid is going into shock" Luke stated recognizing the signs from his tour of combat in Nam. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the two that they had hit was slinking away, but chose not to follow since it was more important that they focus on the boy in front of them right now.

Bending down, he softly stated "You're going to be okay kid, nobody is going to hurt you." He reached out to place a comforting hand on the kid's shoulders but felt him recoil from the touch. Not knowing what else to do, he shrugged off his jacket even though it was a bitterly cold night and placed it over the kid's shoulders to provide some warmth to help keep the shock he was suffering from at a minimum. He noticed the kid moving his head up to look at him and gasped as he recognized his face. "Oh my God Ben, it's the kid who shared his sandwiches with us earlier this morning" he whispered to his best friend.

"Hey sport, we're here to help you if you'll let us" Ben said with a smile as he reached out a hand to help the kid up. He saw the young teen hesitate with tears still glistening in his soulful sad eyes. He reached in a little closer but withdrew instantly as Sam began to violently shake once more muttering the words "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me" over and over and over again.

Seeing that Ben was having trouble getting through to the kid, Luke decided to give it a try. "Listen kid, I know you're scared right now and you have every right to be. You've been through an extremely traumatic experience, but you can't stay here alone. Those boys that did this to you are still out there somewhere and I can't in good conscious leave you here by yourself. Please let us help you kid, let us repay you for the kindness you showed us this morning."

He watched Sam contemplate his words before finally reaching out with a shaky hand a few minutes later to accept his offer of help. "That's it kid, you're doing good. I'm just going to help you to your feet okay." Taking Sam's hand slowly, he gently hoisted him to his feet and then asked if he needed any help getting his jean's up and fastened. Seeing him shake his head no, Ben turned to talk to Luke allowing Sam a small modicum of privacy.

As Sam quickly pulled up his jeans, he surveyed the faces of the two men who had come to his rescue. He vaguely recalled having seen them earlier in the day and he wondered how much he could trust them. Should he just take off running while they weren't looking? He quickly negated that idea as he felt the tremors take hold in his legs. As he stood waiting, he wrung his hands together in nervousness as he sucked in stuttering breaths. Seeing the men turning to face him, he took a few steps back and felt like a cornered animal hen his back hit the wall.

Putting on what he hoped was a non-threatening smile, Luke said "Hey kid, you got a name?" He waited patiently for a few moments, but no answer came from the kid with the mournful blue-green eyes. "So you're not talking then huh, well I guess kid will have to do for now then.

Knowing that they had to take things slow and easy or risk traumatizing the kid even more than he already was, Luke said "Listen kid, we're going to get you out of here and take you someplace safe. I know you don't know who you can trust right now, but I promise we're not going to hurt you. If you'll let me, I'm going to wrap my arm around your shoulders and help you walk until you're steady on your feet. Is that okay kiddo, will you let me do it?"

Sam gazed from one man to the other as he bit on his bottom lip. Maybe these men were only trying to help. His heart ached when he heard one of the men call him kiddo causing him to think about his brother. Would he ever get to hear Dean call him that again? Realizing he would not make it out of the alley on his own, he nodded his head affirmatively and watched as the one called Luke approached him.

"It's okay kid, I'm not gonna hurt you." Luke soothed as he watched Sam visible tense up at his approach. He slowly wrapped a supportive arm around Sam's shoulder and then softly spoke words of encouragement as they started walking out of the alley together.

Hey Luke, what are we going to do with the kid? I mean we don't know where he lives or anything. Are we just going to drop him off at the shelter for runaways or what?" Ben asked perplexed as to what their next move would be.

"Hell no we aren't dropping him off there. You know as well as I do what kind of punks and addicts roam in and out of that place. I'm not letting anything else traumatize this kid any further than what he already is" Luke said thinking about his own son who would have been about this kid's age if he hadn't been killed five years ago. As they walked, Luke vividly recalled the day he watched his wife and only child taken from him as they were walking home from the park. _He had been sitting out on the porch swing enjoying the warm weather when he saw his family approaching. He saw the smile on his son's face as he animatedly talked about something to his mother. He stood up to go meet them halfway. He had just stepped off the porch when a drunk driver came careening around the corner. He didn't even have time to yell a warning as the car left the road and drove up onto the sidewalk hitting his family from behind. His son had been killed instantly from the force of the impact and his wife died a few days later from internal injuries without ever regaining consciousness. _Luke raised a hand to swipe the tear trailing down his face, all the while silently vowing that nobody would be allowed near enough to hurt the kid beside him again as long as he had anything to say about it.

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Watching from her balcony window, a little old lady cursed the two homeless men who had came rushing to the Winchester kid's aid. She had wanted the child to suffer for his father's misdeeds before she killed him in front of his father. Her familiar had magically transformed himself and planted the seeds of anger into the hoodlums minds about young Sam moving in on their territory and girls and then they both sat back to watch the outcome. She watched as the child valiantly tried to defend himself using moves that his father had taught him. She smiled in glee as she watched him fall under the assault of the brass knuckles. She licked her lips in anticipation as the lead hoodlum leered at the boy and had his pants dropped, she was going to be in for a marvelous show. Instead, she sat back and watched as those two homeless bastards came running and saved the day. She would just have to be more careful next time.

**TBC **_**You didn't really think I would allow Sammy to be raped did you? **_


	8. Chapter 8

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 8**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously**_**: **__Luke raised a hand to swipe the tear trailing down his face, all the while silently vowing that nobody would be allowed near enough to hurt the kid beside him again as long as he had anything to say about it._

As Luke sat and watched the kid sleeping, he wondered what could have been so bad at home to force the kid to run away. Was he hooked on drugs or alcohol? Was it that nobody understood him? Or even worse, was he being neglected or abused by his own family? It irritated him to no end to think that someone would even want to lay a hand on the kid when it was obvious he had a heart of gold. He was drawn out of his questioning thoughts as he watched the kid becoming restless. The teen was beginning to toss and turn in his sleep and had started to lowly whimper. Moving over to sit beside him, Luke reached out and brushed his long brunette hair from his eyes. "It's okay kid. You're safe with me. I won't let anything near you, rest now." He pulled the worn and frayed blanket back over the sleeping youngster that had slipped off with his movements.

How's he doing?" asked Ben with a yawn as he pulled his own blanket in closer around him. He had been awakened by the soft sounds of the kid's whimpering as he slept only a few feet away. He watched in fascination as Luke soothed the kid back into a deep sleep with just a gentle touch.

"Nightmare, I think" Luke answered as he tucked the blanket in around the kid to keep him as warm as possible. "And who can blame him after what he went through tonight. If I ever get my hands on those bastards again…"

"Luke you shouldn't get too attached to him man. You know sooner or later the kid's going to leave and we'll have to let him" Ben stated worriedly for his friend. He could see the emotional bond that Luke was beginning to form with the kid and didn't want to watch him get his heart broken at a later point. He couldn't stand to even think about Luke becoming the despondent man he had been so long ago after his own child's death. It had taken him years to recover and become more than just an empty shell walking around.

"I hear you Ben, it's just this kid is about the same age that my son Cameron would have been. I can't just abandon him without knowing that he'll be able to take care of himself. Once I know that he's recovered from the attack and able to look after himself again, I'll be able to let him go—I promise"

"I hope you're right Luke, because I just can't stand by and watch you go through that hurt all over again" Ben said honestly as he rolled back over to try and go back to sleep. He knew there wasn't anyway that Luke would be closing his eyes tonight since he was in protective mode for the kid's sake.

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Early the next morning, Dean awoke with the rising sun in the morning sky to find Bobby already awake and drinking a cup of extremely hot coffee from the looks of the steam rising out of the styrofoam cup. "Morning" he said as he pushed himself up off the bed. He was more than ready to start the hunt for his brother and Bobby promised to help him.

"Morning Ace. Soon as you get something in that belly of yours, we'll hit the road" Bobby said in reply knowing that he wouldn't be able to get Dean to hold off any longer than that.

"M'not hungry Bobby" Dean said as he eased off the bed ready to look for his clothing and get the hunt started.

"Don't care if you're hungry or not, we're not leaving here til you eat something boy."

"But Bobby..."

Don't but Bobby me, I ain't having your ass pass out on me from starvation so do as I say if'n you wanna go find that brother of yours." Bobby stated with a stern look.

"Yes Sir" Dean replied quickly knowing Bobby meant every word he had said. He soon heard the door open and looked over to see a candy striper carrying in his breakfast tray. After she set it on the small table beside his bed, Dean lifted the lid to see scrambled eggs with sausage, hash browns and a piece of toast. _"Well, at least it looks edible" _he thought as he picked up the fork and stuffed some of the eggs in his mouth. The sooner he got started, the sooner he would finish. Suddenly realizing his dad wasn't in the room, Dean looked up at Bobby and asked "So where's dad?"

"He's talking to the doctor about getting your prescriptions. He knew you were leaving one way or another today whether he liked it or not so he figured it was better to be safe than sorry. He should be getting your AMA papers right about now."

"Wow, how'd you manage that? I thought the stubborn ass would fight me all the way on this" Dean said incredulously.

"All I said was that he was going to lose both of his sons if he didn't get his shit together and start acting like a father. The rest was up to him" Bobby answered as he heard the door open once again and saw John and Dr. Early walk into the room.

"Dean, before I give you these papers, I want you to know how unhappy I am with the decision you have made. You really should be in here for another forty eight hours of observation so that we can keep an eye out for possible blood poisoning or septicemia" Dr. Early stated with a frown upon his face.

"I'm sorry doc, but I've got to get out of here and find my baby brother, make sure he is okay. Just tell me what to watch for and I'll be careful" Dean informed the doctor as he opened the drawer beside his bed and pulled out his clothing.

"I've already talked with your father and uncle about the things they should be watching for. Basically you should be wary if you find yourself running a fever or you become listless, those could be the first signs of an infection. Don't ignore them Dean, get yourself back here--especially if you notice red streaks snaking out from the wound and the area becoming even more tender."

"Yeah doc, I will" Dean stated as he pulled on his jeans and zipped them up. He held his hand out for the AMA papers and signed them quickly before handing them back over. "What can I say doc, I hope I don't see you again soon" Dean replied shaking the man's hand before walking out the door with his dad and Bobby following.

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Sam woke up early in the morning to sunlight streaming in his face. He slowly opened his eyes to peer around wondering how in the world he had ended up sleeping outside with only a cardboard box providing him shelter from the wind. As he sat up and became more alert, memories suddenly assaulted his mind of the gang that had viciously attacked him for no reason. He drew in a swift intake of breath and began to shiver. As he remembered the feeling of his jeans being pushed from his hips, his breathing became even more rapid knowing just how close had had been to being raped. He could feel his mouth, hands and feet starting to tingle and he was becoming lightheaded.

Luke had just finished adding some more scavenged wood to the burning barrel and returned to Sammy's side when he saw the panicked look in his eyes and saw him struggling just to breathe. He quickly dropped down to his knees and applied a comforting hand to the nape of the kid's neck as he pushed his head between his knees. "Whoa, take it easy kid, you have to calm down or you're going to pass out. You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you kiddo, I swear" Luke stated as he began to rub the kid's back.

Sam saw a man approach him with a worried expression on his face as he fought to breathe. He could feel pain building in his chest as his lungs refused to allow him to take a decent breath. He felt a large hand clasp his neck as his head was gently pushed between his knees. He began to breathe easier as a tranquil voice encouraged him to calm down. He soon felt a large hand rubbing up and down his back providing the comfort he needed to begin to pull himself together. As his breathing calmed considerably, he looked up to see the distressed look on the face of one of the men who had helped him last night.

"That's it, you're doing great kid" Luke stated as he smiled while gently massaging Sam's neck with the hand that was still held there. "I know you're probably wondering where you are. After we found you last night, Ben and I brought you back here to our humble little abode to watch over you since you weren't really in the frame of mind to do it yourself. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like or we could try to contact you're family for you if you'd like."

"I don't have a family anymore" whispered Sammy as he lowered himself back down onto the mat he had been lying on and allowed himself to silently cry. He wanted to see Dean right now more than anything, to have his brother hold him close and tell him that things were going to be okay. He knew if Dean was saying those words then they would be true because Dean never broke a promise to him.

Luke's heart clenched at the sight of the silently crying young teen before him. Something had happened to hurt the kid to his very soul where his family was concerned and it pained him to see the kid in such torment. He wanted to tell the kid that he had a family with him and Ben, but he just didn't think the kid could take hearing those words right now with the ache so strong in his heart.

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As they walked out of the hospital and over to the parking garage where the Impala was now parked, Bobby discussed his plan for finding Sammy with the Winchesters. "From what the doctor said about Sammy's state of mind, I don't think he would have been able to get too far on his own. I think we should start with the surrounding towns, towns that are big enough to get himself lost in, yet small enough that he won't be overwhelmed by the size of them."

John rolled his eyes as he listened to Bobby. Why couldn't he and Dean see that they were just wasting their time with looking for the little pain in the ass. Sammy was probably already back at the house they were currently renting pouting like a big baby. "Well I think you're wrong. Knowing Sammy, he's already back at the house and waiting for Dean to come home and baby his poor defenseless ass. I swear he's nothing but a damned big baby."

Turning around and looking at his dad in anger, Dean forcefully said "If you say one more nasty word about my baby brother, I swear I will knock you on your ass so hard you won't be able to get up for a week. You've done nothing but ride hard on the kid for the past couple of weeks and I'm sick of it. I should have seen what was happening and stopped it before you finally pushed things too far and made him run away." Taking a deep breath, he went on to say "If you don't want to help us find Sammy, then find yourself a ride home. Bobby and I will be just fine without you."

**TBC Will John finally pull his head his head out of his ass and help Bobby and Dean look for his youngest? Will Bobby be able to break the spell on John? Find out soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 9**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: I'm sure you were all saddened as I was to learn of the death of Kim Manners. He will be missed!!!!!!!**

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**Previously**_**: **__"Dad, if you don't want to help us find Sammy, then find yourself a ride home. Bobby and I will be just fine without you." Dean informed his father._

"Actually Dean, we'll be taking your dad there ourselves." Bobby replied as he snatched the Impala keys from John's hand after he had unlocked the door. Seeing the anger building on John's face, Bobby said "There's no way I'm letting you drive when you haven't slept since this whole mess started. And don't even bother with telling me you're fine because the dark smudges under your eyes are telling me different." Bobby opened the door to the driver's side and climbed in behind the wheel waiting for the other Winchesters to load up in the car. He heard John mutter a few curse words before walking around the front of the Impala and sitting in the shotgun position.

As Dean climbed into the back of the car, he asked "Why in the hell would we take dad home first Bobby? We need to start looking for Sammy now!"

"Listen to me Dean, if we find Sammy without breaking that spell on your father first---things could go sour pretty fast. We don't know what kind of shape Sammy will be in when we find him and we can't have John jumping down his throat if he's in no shape to handle it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right Bobby, but why are we going to the house? Shouldn't we be looking for the witch first?" Dean questioned.

"Dean, you said your dad's been riding pretty hard on Sam for a few weeks right?" Seeing Dean nod affirmatively in the rearview mirror, he went on to say "Well that mean's that the witch has most likely been using a gris bag to do her mojo on your father and it is probably hidden somewhere in the house. We've got to find the damn thing and burn it so that we can at least break her hold on your dad until we find the bitch and dispatch her into the ever after."

"Shit Bobby, all of this could have been avoided if we had only recognized that dad wasn't himself. I just figured dad was in a bad mood lately since it was the anniversary of mom's birthday. How could I have been so blind?"

"Don't blame yourself Dean, it's happened to the best of us including me. You just learn from the situation and then you move on." Bobby informed then oldest of the Winchester sons.

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Arriving at the house approximately an hour later, John sat down on the sofa to have a beer and watch television while Dean and Bobby started to search the house. He watched in disgust as Bobby flipped furniture over while Dean tore things out of the cabinets or drawers they had been placed in. "You know Bobby, I expect you and Dean to clean this mess up before you leave" John informed his hunter friend as he gulped down a mouthful of beer.

"Shut up Johnny" Bobby spat out as he pulled out his knife and sliced through the bottom of a chair. Finding nothing, he flipped the chair back over and motioned for John to sit on it so he could check the sofa.

"You're just wasting your time looking for something that isn't there" John said as he emptied the bottle and went for another. "Sammy will come home when he's damned good and ready and I'll tell you this much, that boy is going to feel my hand on his backside for causing so much damned trouble."

"You lay a hand on that kid Johnny and I'll fill your ass full of buckshot as sure as I'm standing here" Bobby promised as he pulled the cushions off of the couch. Finding nothing once again, he flipped the sofa over and cut through the netting on the bottom. "Damn it, just where the hell is the thing?" Bobby grumbled as he glanced around the room. He was confident the damned gris bag had to be in the house somewhere or John wouldn't be acting like such an ass where his baby boy was concerned. He had seen John's heart break every time his youngest was sick or hurt so he knew he loved the child with all of his heart.

"Hey Dean, you find anything?" Bobby questioned as he glanced towards the kitchen where Dean was conducting his search.

"Nothing yet" Dean answered in reply as he scanned the pantry where the food had been stored until he had swept it off the shelf with his hands. He was beginning to get frustrated as hell knowing how much time this search was taking away from the hunt for Sammy. He felt like giving it up and telling Bobby to search on his own while he went out and looked for his baby brother.

After searching all of the cabinets, Dean walked over and pulled open the door under the sink. He used his flashlight to scan the floor and the walls but found nothing. He started to close the door when he got a strong feeling that something was amiss. Bending down on his hands and knees, he leaned into the hole and looked up toward the bottom of the sink. "BINGO" he called out as he spotted the small black bag that was taped to the fixture with duct tape.

"I found it Bobby" Dean hollered out as he pulled the tape away and held the little bag in his hand. "How could something so damned little cause such a big mess?" He questioned to himself as he lay it on the table.

"That's the power of magic and the supernatural" Bobby answered as he opened the bag to reveal the grisly contents inside before dumping them into a small metal container. He doused the objects with lighter fluid and then lit a match and dropped it into the container. He watched the bright flash of fire rise up before starting to consume the contents of the container.

In the living room, John began to feel a weird feeling as his body began to tingle. "What the hell?" he questioned as his head began to throb unmercifully. He pushed himself to his feet and started towards the kitchen to get some aspirin when his world began to spin. "Son of a bitch" he groaned as he fell to his knees and his stomach began to clench. He took deep even breaths trying to stave off the nausea that was rising in his throat. All at once, he leaned over and vomit expelled from his mouth with gut wrenching force. "Oh Crap" he mumbled as his arms became weak and he started to tremble. He didn't know how much longer he could support himself as the vomit poured from his mouth.

After disposing of the gris bag, Bobby and Dean walked into the room to see a severely sick John puking his guts up. Bobby reached down to support his friend as he saw the tremors take hold in John's arms. "Let it out Johnny, you're going to be okay" he said as he supported John's weight to keep him from collapsing into the mess he had just expelled from his stomach. Once John started dry heaving, Bobby pulled him up into a sitting position and allowed John to rest beside his body as his friend fought to catch his breath.

"Oh God, wh-what have I do-done?" John asked as tears began to flood his eyes. "Sammy, where's my baby?" he questioned with a quivering voice remembering the cruel words he had said to his youngest. He allowed the tears to flow down his cheeks and yelled out in anguish as he clenched his hands to the side of his head.

"Oh God Bobby, I drove my youngest away. I accused him of trying to kill Dean and said the most horrible things a father could ever say to his own son. How in the hell am I going to be able to make things right?" He sobbed as he rested his head upon his knees. "Sammy took off and it's all because of me. He's out there all alone and who knows what could have happened to him by now."

Dean felt his heart ache for his father as he watched the man break down in Bobby's arms. He had never seen his dad hurting so badly, not even when their mother had died. He felt bad for the things he had said to his father finally realizing just how much John loved Sammy and couldn't control what was happening to him.

"S'gonna be alright Johnny, you'll see. We're going to go out there and find Sammy and bring him home where he belongs so that you can make it up to him for the way you've been acting. I'm sure Sammy will forgive you once he realizes you were under a spell." Bobby said trying to comfort the broken man before him.

We've got to find him Bobby, I've got to make things right with my son once again" John stressed as he wiped his face with his sleeve and pulled himself together. Let's get our asses off this floor and go do what we do best, let's go find my boy."

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After John had finally pulled himself together, the hunters loaded up into the Impala and raced back towards the town that was closest to the hospital since Sammy wouldn't have been able to go far on his own. Once they parked in a centralized location that was near the run down side of town, Dean started asking around if anybody had seen a young teenager with shoulder length dark brown hair and a medium build hanging out on the streets. He targeted the younger population while John and Bobby targeted the adults and store owners.

As Dean walked along, he tried to think about the places where Sammy might look for shelter, places where he would blend in with the local population, or places where he could at least sleep for the night in relative safety. As he surveyed the buildings on the so called unsavory side of town, he shuddered to think that Sammy could be living in one of them on his own. He could see the telltale graffiti announcing gang territory and he could pick out the ladies of the night as easy as picking out a pair of socks to wear.

Pulling a picture out of his wallet, Dean began showing the picture to people he passed by on the street. Surely one of these people would had to have seen Sammy when he was out on a food run or looking for a decent place to spend the night. As the evening progressed, he began to become anxious knowing that more than likely his baby brother would be spending another night alone on the streets, a night where anything could happen to Sammy and he wouldn't be there to stop it.

While Dean was working the younger crowd and John was talking to store owners, Bobby decided it would be best to try the homeless crowd figuring they would most likely be the observant ones, the people who instantly recognize others like themselves, runaways without a home. Seeing an old lady pushing a cart, he stopped and asked her to take a look at the photo in his hand and tell him if she had seen the boy anywhere. When the lady replied that she hadn't, Bobby continued on.

After a few hours of people saying they hadn't seen Sammy and a few people who he deemed to have possible sightings, Bobby stumbled onto a man who was looking through a trash dumpster out behind a diner. The man looked to be in his mid thirties and had a stocky build. Bobby instantly recognized the fact that the man was a veteran just from the way he carried himself and by the tattoo on his arm. He wondered what could have happened to push the man into living on the streets. Walking up to the man, Bobby introduced himself and offered to buy the man a cup of coffee and a hot meal. At first, he thought the man was going to turn him down, but then smiled when he graciously accepted the offer. As they sat and waited on their food, Bobby showed the man the picture of Sammy and asked if he had seen him anywhere on the streets over the past few days.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 10**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: The Supernatural Cast and Crew has asked that everybody take a moment of silence just before the episode tomorrow night in memory of Kim Manners.**

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**Previously**_**: **__Walking up to the man, Bobby introduced himself and offered to buy the man a cup of coffee and a hot meal. At first, he thought the man was going to turn him down, but then smiled when he graciously accepted the offer. As they sat and waited on their food, Bobby showed the man the picture of Sammy and asked if he had seen him anywhere on the streets over the past few days._

Looking at the picture, Ben was easily able to recognize the person as the kid that he and Luke had helped the previous night with those puppy dog eyes of his. Glancing up, he wondered if the man sitting before him had anything to do with the hoodlums that attacked the young teen. "I can't say that I have seen him. Is the kid in trouble or something?" he enquired trying to learn more.

"I sure hope not. Sammy ran away from the hospital after a major misunderstanding with his father and we've got to find him before something happens to him. Please take another look at the picture just to be sure." Bobby pleaded since he could have sworn he seen the look of recognition in the man's eyes for just a second when he had first looked at the picture.

"Sorry man, the face just doesn't ring a bell. I wish that I could help" Ben stated as he pushed himself up from the table. "Thanks for the coffee and sandwich." Walking away, Ben decided he needed to get to Luke as soon as possible and warn him that people were out looking for the kid. Sure, the older man with the ball cap on his head could have been telling the truth but it was better to be safe than sorry. Luke would never forgive him if he led trouble back to the kid.

As Bobby watched the man stand up and walk away. His hunter's intuition kicked into overdrive. There was something that the veteran wasn't admitting to and he was determined to find out what it was. With Sammy's life possibly at stake, he couldn't afford to take any chances. Pulling out his phone, he called Dean and John to tell them about his suspicions and for help in tracking the man. Exiting the restaurant, he took a left turn and stayed approximately twenty five paces behind his quarry. Spotting John up ahead, he surreptitiously pointed the man out to him and then veered off the path so as not to arouse the man's suspicions.

Upon receiving Bobby's call, John immediately stopped what he was doing and headed in Bobby's direction. Bobby had an uncanny knack for knowing things and John trusted him completely. If Bobby suspected the man was somehow involved with Sammy, then they would follow him to the ends of the earth. As the man stopped to look at some oranges at a fresh fruit stand, John walked on past as the man looked up to survey the crowd around him. He had to smile as he passed when Dean picked up an orange and asked "Are these fresh Florida oranges?"

Dean had been walking towards his dad when he saw him watching a man in blue jeans and a camouflage jacket very intently. Assuming that the man was the one that Bobby had warned them about, Dean walked over beside him to take a gander at the fresh fruit on display. He noticed his dad give a slight nod to him as he inquired to the freshness of the fruit to acknowledge hi assumption. Pulling some money out of his pocket, he paid for three oranges and then began to follow their chosen quarry.

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As the day continued to progress, Luke became more and more concerned about the kid. He still had not spoken any other words since saying he no longer had a family and he seemed to be withdrawing into himself. He had to do something soon or he feared the kid would eventually become suicidal. "Hey sport, it's probably been a while since you've had a chance to clean up, how about I show you where you can wash up and I'll keep watch, make sure nobody interrupts you? What do you think, you feel up to it?"

Sam could hear that the man called Luke was talking to him, but the words didn't register in his brain. He just wanted to become invisible where nobody could see him and would leave him alone. As far as he was concerned, his world would never be right again and he could care less what happened to him, maybe things would be better if he ceased to exist, maybe Dean would be better off too. "I'm so sorry Dean" Sam whispered as the pain of not seeing his brother in days began to consume him.

Dean, who's Dean?" Luke questioned as he heard the barely audible apology. If he could get the kid talking about this Dean, then maybe he could pull him out of that shell he had crawled into before he became too deeply ensconced in it.

Looking up at Luke with tear filled eyes, Sam replied "Br-Brother, he's my big brother."

_"At least that's a start"_ thought Luke as he focused his attention on getting Sammy to talk more. "So this big brother of yours, what's he like?"

"He's the greatest. He would do anything in the world for me" Sam replied with a far off look in his eyes. "He's always been there for me when I needed him. He's actually been more like a father since he always had to take care of me when my dad went away on business. He'd give his life for me, and that's why I have to stay away now" Sam said as a solitary tear fell down his face.

"Why would you think that kiddo? From the sounds of it, your brother Dean must love you a lot. I'll bet he's freaking out not knowing where you are right now." Luke said as he placed a hand on Sammy's leg in comfort.

"You don't understand, I almost ki-killed him because I'm so frigging stupid. I can't do anything right, just ask my dad."

Luke's heart broke for the kid as he heard the words coming from his mouth. Obviously something had happened to Dean and Sam was blaming himself for it--or was it that his father had blamed him for it. He wondered what words had been exchanged between the kid and his father to force him to leave everything he knew behind. "Listen up kid, your dad was probably just upset about whatever happened. I'm sure he didn't men whatever it was he said to you in the heat of the moment."

"You don't know my dad, he doesn't say something unless he means it. But he's right you know, with a little brother like me, Dean never would have lived to see the age of twenty one." Sam intoned as he placed his head upon his knees and began to gently rock himself.

"That son of a bitch, if I ever get my hands on him I'll wring his damned neck" Luke thought as he placed his hand on the nape of Sammy's neck and lightly squeezed wondering how a father could say such hurtful words to his own child. He shook his head in sorrow for the kid as he noticed a sweet little old lady holding a cat walking towards them.

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Tanyana was beyond pissed. Somehow the hunters had managed to figure out what she had done and broken her spell over the oldest Winchester, thereby destroying her fun. She had so many more things yet she had planned to put the youngest through at the hands of his father, but now those plans were destroyed. The hunters were on the child's trail and she would have to kick things into high gear to keep him away from those that loved him. She would not be denied her fun of torturing him while his father watched. She would not be denied the pleasure of the hunter's pleading for his young son's life.

Picking up her cat and stroking it's fur, she whispered "Time to go my pet. The hunters are near to finding their most coveted prize and we cannot allow that to happen." Tanyana whispered a few words and with a snap of her fingers, she was transformed into a feeble little old lady with hair of silvery gray to any who would look upon her face.

Leaving the humble abode she had set up to be near the boy, she traversed down the road to the area where she knew the boy to be. She had been keeping a close watch on him and knew he had been taken in by the two men who had ruined her fun the previous night. Today she would make them pay for putting their noses into places that they didn't belong. Today they would wish they have never laid eyes upon one Samuel Winchester.

As she neared her destination and approached Sam and his guardian, Tanyana smiled at the sight that beheld her twinkling eyes. Young Sam was obviously in a bad way by the way the defender kneeled at his side and tried to give comfort. She could not hear the words whispered only for the boys ears, but she could see the love in the guardians eyes for the boy. "What is it that makes you so special child?" she questioned silently wondering why people became so fiercely protective of him, willing to put their lives on the line for him. She had sensed it not only in the man guarding him now, but also in the hunter helping the Winchesters with their quest. She saw the man look her way and stand with a smile as she stopped just a few feet away from them.

"Are you lost, can I help you Ma'am?" Luke questioned as he stood to greet the little old lady. A sickly woman like her should never be caught out on her own, especially in this part of town since she would be easy pickings for any hoodlum out to make some easy money.

"Why yes you can my dear man." Tanyana stated as she began to voice a spell in an unknown dialect.

Luke stood in disbelief as the decrepit woman in front of him began speaking in a tongue he didn't understand. He thought she was most likely senile and reached out to touch her arm to try and bring her back to reality. As his hand connected with her hand, he felt an electrical energy build up around him. His hands began to tingle and then go numb. His mouth dropped open in shock as he felt himself suddenly lifted into the air and flung towards the stone wall behind him. He yelled out in pain as his back connected with the wall and he fell heavily to the ground. "Who or what the hell are you?" he gasped as he tried to draw in a breath into his abused body.

"That is of no concern to you. All you need know is that I am here for the boy and he will be leaving with me. He is the epitome of all that I despise and he will be the one to pay for his father's sins as I sacrifice him to the all powerful one. With this boys death, our kind will once again rise and take over this world as hunters are purged from the face of the earth." Tanyana stated with immense satisfaction. "Attempting to interfere with my plans will mean death for you and those around you

"You really are one crazy bitch" Luke spat out as he pushed himself to his feet and struggled to make it to the kid who now sat in stunned silence with a glazed and despondent look in his eyes, He knew that he had to protect him from whatever the woman was even if it cost him his life.

**TBC _Will John and the others make it in time to save Sammy and Luke from the intentions of the evil witch?_**


	11. Chapter 11

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 11**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously: **"_You really are one crazy bitch" Luke spat out as he pushed himself to his feet and struggled to make it to the kid who now sat in stunned silence with a glazed and despondent look in his eyes, He knew that he had to protect him from whatever the woman was even if it cost him his life._

A few minutes later, Luke awakened to the sound of a concerned voice and the feeling of hands lightly shaking him. He groaned as he opened his eyes to see Ben crouching down beside him with a look of concern in his eyes. "What 'appenened?" Luke questioned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. He winced when he felt the pounding in his head that was quickly bringing on a bout of nausea. "Sick" he stated wearily just before leaning over and emptying his stomach of the contents he had eaten earlier in the day.

"That's what we would like to know?" Bobby stated as he and the Winchesters made it over to the wounded veteran's side. He smiled as he saw the look of surprise in Ben's eyes as he recognized him. "Sorry man, I just had a feeling you weren't telling the truth when I showed you the picture of Sammy so we took it upon ourselves to follow you."

"Sammy, who's Sammy?" Luke questioned as he closed his eyes to the vertigo that assaulted him once again leaving his head spinning. Damn he hated concussions!

"He's my son" John answered as he pulled a picture from his wallet and waited for Luke to open his eyes to take a look at it. "This is a picture of him and his brother that was taken just a few months ago."

"So you're the bastard that hurt the kid so bad" Luke stated sharply with anger apparent in his voice. "If I weren't sitting here with a concussion right now, I'd kick your damn ass for what you did to the kid."

"Whoa, wait a minute." Dean touted. "Dad didn't know what he was doing. He was under a spe…well, it's kind of hard to explain" he said in defense of his father. He was about to tell him that his dad was under a spell, but then worried that the man would think he was crazy and not talk to them about where Sammy was.

"We can talk about all of this later." Bobby said as he pulled off his ball cap and ran a hand through his hair. "Right now we need to know what happened to you and where Sammy is."

"Oh shit, you aren't going to believe this." Luke stated knowing just how weird what he was about to say would sound. "I was attacked by a little old lady with some kind of powers. She flung me through the air with a wave of her hand and I crashed into the wall behind me. I swear I'm telling you the truth." Luke stated as he looked into the eyes of the three men and Ben.

"Don't worry, we believe you. We've kind of faced the same situation ourselves." John stated wondering how much he should tell the two homeless men before him. "Please continue, I need you to tell me what you know about my son."

"Uh, how do I put this without you thinking I'm crazy? I was crawling over on my hands and knees to get between the kid, Sammy, and that woman when the cat she was holding…um…well…it transformed into a large man and walked over and picked Sammy up like he was a sack of potatoes" Luke stated lowering his eyes knowing that the men before him would think he was insane.

"That little old lady was no lady at all. Actually it was a witch and the cat was her familiar" Bobby stated to let Luke know that they believed him. "She cursed John, Sammy's dad, with a spell causing him to say and do things to hurt his youngest. We've got to find her before she can sacrifice the kid in some death ritual."

"Damn, you're actually telling me the truth aren't you?" Luke asked as he saw the honesty visible in Bobby's eyes. "There are actually witches out there in the world."

"Those and a whole lot more that you believed only lived in your wildest dreams" John answered as he reached a hand out to help a struggling Luke to his feet. "Please, can you tell me what happened to my son?"

"Uh yeah, the lady, uh witch, said that when you came to tell you that you could find her and the brat in the clearing where you last met. She said she would be waiting on you and that you should come alone or she would kill the kid before you had a chance to talk to him." Luke answered with sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold her off until you got here."

'S'not your fault" John stated as he wiped a hand across the stubble of his beard. "Come on Dean, we've got to get to your brother before anything else happens to him."

"Wait" Luke shouted as John turned around to walk away with Dean following. "There's something else you need to know. Sammy is in a depressed state of mind right now, I think he might even be suicidal" Luke stated somberly.

"Wh-what, what in the hell are you talking about?" Dean questioned fearfully.

"Sammy was almost raped last night." Luke answered as he saw the faces of the three men before him immediately pale upon hearing his words. "He was attacked by a gang of five boys and tried to fight them off. He was doing good too until they used brass knuckles on him. By the time me and Ben had gotten to him, they had his jeans down and were about to remove his boxers. We got there just in time to keep it from happening, but it's left Sammy with PTSD. Between that and thinking he could never see his brother again, he's about given up on himself and life."

"Shit" whispered Dean as tears pooled in his eyes before running down his face wondering how thing could have gotten so bad so quickly. "Dad we've got to find him before he gives up completely. After everything he has been through, I couldn't live with myself knowing he was so broken at the end."

"Don't you worry son, we're going to find him in time and I promise you we will kill that bitch who took him. Then we'll come back here and make those boys pay for what they tried to do to my baby." John promised as a new determination took him over. He would not lose his youngest and they would do whatever it took to get him through the trauma he suffered if it took them the rest of their lives. Sammy would not be another statistic to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

As they started to leave, Luke said "I'm coming with you. Don't try to stop me, I care a lot about that kid and I'm going to be in on the rescue whether you want me to or not."

John nodded his head in acceptance. He owed him for protecting Sammy from the gang and keeping him from being raped. It was the least he could do to repay Luke for everything he had done for Sammy.

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Sammy awoke to find himself held in the cellar of an old abandoned farmhouse and shackled to the wall by his wrists. His jacket, shirt, socks and shoes had been removed leaving him in nothing but his jeans and boxers. He shivered as the cold assaulted his body unrelentingly. His head drooped to his chest as tears fell from his eyes. He wished the witch would just kill him and get it over with but it was not to be since the witch wanted revenge on his father.

He could just picture the look that would be in his dad's eyes. Hell, he would probably tell the witch to go ahead and sacrifice him so that he could be rid of him. "I'm nothing but a failure anyway" he whispered knowing that his dad would state those exact words. He honestly wondered if his dad would even bother to show up and pretend that he wanted to save him.

As he sat slumped in defeat, he wondered how Luke was doing. He remembered seeing the witch's familiar holding him captive against the wall as she instructed him with what to do once John showed up. Afterwards, the familiar and slammed Luke's head into the wall with brutal force knocking him unconscious. "Please don't be dead because of me" he whispered feeling like no one was safe when it came to him and his stinking rotten Winchester luck.

"Aw, is poor little Sammy feeling sorry for himself?" Tanyana taunted as she walked into the cellar to see the youngest Winchester with his head bowed to his chest. "You should feel bad you worthless little piece of crap. You're nothing but a disgrace to your family, to your brother. He would be disgusted to see how easily you were broken. He's probably thanking his lucky stars that you are no longer around to bring him down."

"Go to hell" Sam intoned as he raised his head to look the witch in the eye. Sure his dad might hate him and think of him as a disgrace, but she was wrong about Dean. Dean would never think such horrible thoughts about him no matter what, even if he was the screw up that everyone was claiming him to be.

"You insolent little brat" Tanyana voiced angrily as she slapped Sammy across the face hard enough to leave her hand print on his right cheek. "You are worse than your sorry excuse of a father. I will enjoy making you suffer before sacrificing you in front of your family."

"Bring it on, it's not as if it matters anyway." Sam retorted with a shrug of his shoulders. "My dad's probably glad I'm missing so he doesn't have to put up with my sorry ass anymore. Hell lady, you're stuck with me now and just don't comprehend the fact yet."

"Not everything is as it appears to be." Tanyana replied with a knowing smirk as she picked up a bucket of ice cold water and doused Sammy with it causing him to shiver even more. "Think about that as you sit alone awaiting your destiny young pup."

Sammy watched the evil witch walk away and contemplated the words she had said. "What the heck did she mean by not everything was as it appeared to be? Was something going on or was she trying to play mind games with him to drive him insane?"

"_What does it matter anyway?" _he thought to himself as he bent his legs and placed his head on his knees. He could care less what happened to him now anyway. His life had basically went to hell in a hand basket and would never be the same again. He began to rock himself back and forth in a comforting motion as he hummed the tune to _Back in Black _and soon fell asleep from sheer and utter exhaustion.

As Tanyana watched the boy from afar, she marveled in the fact that it had been so easy for her to destroy the family. With one little spell, she had effectively broken the bond between the father and the youngest son. And if things went her way with the sacrifice, the oldest would lose total faith in his father and the hunting community would suffer a great loss. Her name would be revered throughout the supernatural world as the one to bring the mighty Winchesters to their knees.

Knowing that the one she despised most would soon arrive, Tanyana started setting things in motion to do the ritual that would give her untold powers. She placed the black candles along her altar and recited the spell to cleanse her mind of all impurities, to give her the gift of foresight so that she would be prepared for the night ahead.

**TBC** _**I wasn't totally sure about this chapter, but I didn't want to keep you waiting. I hope you enjoyed it.**_


	12. Chapter 12

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 12**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously: **_Knowing that the one she despised most would soon arrive, Tanyana started setting things in motion to do the ritual that would give her untold powers. She placed the black candles along her altar and recited the spell to cleanse her mind of all impurities, to give her the gift of foresight so that she would be prepared for the night ahead._

After Tanyana prepared the sacrificial altar, she returned to the cellar to find the Winchester boy with his head resting on his knees and sleeping. "Oh no you don't" she prattled as she picked up the bucket to fill with water again. She wanted the kid weary, weak, and sleep deprived once his father arrived to attempt a rescue. Filling the bucket to the brim, she carried it over and tossed the ice cold water on Sammy once again.

Sammy woke up immediately as he found himself drenched in frigid water. His teeth began to chatter and he began to violently shake as his body struggled to warm itself. He lifted his head to see the woman standing before him once again. "Please, just leave me alone." he whispered as he rested his head against the hard earthen wall.

"Sorry kid, but that is not in my plans" Tanyana said maniacally as she pulled a stun gun from her pocket. "I think it's about time you learn who is in charge here boy." she informed Sammy as she walked towards him with an evil grin on her face.

"Stay the hell away from me with that thing." Sammy said fearfully as he recognized the weapon. He knew the stun gun wouldn't kill him, but it sure would hurt like hell, especially with him being soaked to the skin. He knew that the stun guns generated a high voltage but low amperage charge. In basic terms, it mean that it had a lot of pressure behind it, but not much intensity and it would still hurt like a bitch. The charge would be enough to make his muscles do a lot of work in a small amount of time causing them to seize and cramp.

Sam tried to push himself back as Tanyana got closer but was stopped by the wall. He tried to curl in on himself to protect his body but screamed out in agony as the stun gun was applied to his upper thigh for approximately five seconds. His muscles started to spasm uncontrollably as his mind tried to decipher what was happening to him. He felt a loss of feeling in his legs and arms as his body became temporarily paralyzed from the effects of the stun gun. He sat dazed in confusion as Tanyana stood watching him. He finally slumped to the floor as his body's energy reserves left him totally depleted.

Tanyana stood back and admired the shape her young prisoner was now in. He would be of no help to his father once he arrived which should be within the next hour or two if everything went according to plan. By then she would have Sammy tied to the altar within full view of his father. Her sacrificial dagger was already in place to slit her young captive's wrist to fill her golden goblet with blood and once that was finished, she would plunge the dagger deep into his young heart. Smiling in satisfaction, she left to finish her preparations. It was going to be a wonderful night made even better by the rising of the blood moon.

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As John and the others neared the forested area where they knew Sammy was being held, they went over the plan for launching their rescue to get the youngest Winchester out safely. John would go in first with Bobby and the others following approximately ten minutes later but taking a different path in to the clearing situated in the middle of the trees. John was to keep the witch occupied until Dean could get close enough to free Sammy or at the very least protect him from being hurt. While all this was going on, Luke would douse the witch with a concoction that Bobby had brewed up as Bobby read a binding spell that would keep Tanyana from being able to use her powers.

As John parked the car, the hunters and Luke climbed out with determination in their eyes. The witch was going down tonight and in the most painful way possible. She would never again be able to put another family through the hurt that the Winchesters were going through. Each man grabbed the gear they would need and then John started off through the woods with a set destination in mind. He prayed that once he arrived at the opening, his baby boy would still be alive and kicking and no further traumatized than what he already was. He knew it would take him a while to make things up to Sammy, but he was in it for the long haul. He would not rest until things were right between him and his youngest once again.

After giving John a ten minute head start, Dean looked at the others with him and said "Let's get this thing started." He took off on a separate path from that of his father without glancing back. He knew Bobby and Luke would be taking a different trail so that they could launch their attack from different vantage points. Dean silently made his way through the woods being careful where he placed his feet. He couldn't risk announcing his arrival or their hopes of rescue would be shot to hell.

As Bobby and Luke stealthy made their way through the dense tree covering towards where the clearing was located, their thoughts centered on the hunt ahead of them. They knew if one little part of their plan went astray that they could lose the youngest Winchester and that was just not an option. Both silently swore to themselves that if push came to shove, they would sacrifice their own life so that Sammy could live. Bobby in memory of the children he never had the chance to have, and Luke in memory of the son he had lost to a drunken driver.

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Sammy awoke to find himself outside and tied down with his back resting on something cold and hard with his arms and legs outstretched to the sides. He tried to lift his head to see where he was but was too weak to move it more than a fraction of an inch. Glancing around him, he could see that he was tied to what had to be a sacrificial altar with black candles placed in strategic places. He took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself as he saw the dagger that rested beside his head. He knew the time had come that he was most likely going to die. He just wished he had had the chance to see his brother one more time and tell him that he loved him.

"Ah, my little sacrificial lamb awakens" Tanyana cooed as she noticed Sammy scanning his surroundings. "Don't worry my child, your father has arrived and should soon make his appearance." she stated sensing a change in the air. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that he had come by himself and was more than ready for the delinquent that was his oldest son. Having both of them there to witness the death of the youngest brought even more happiness to her twisted mind.

"Lady you're going to be disappointed. I'm telling you he is not coming. He doesn't care about me so there is no reason for him to show up." Sam stated miserably as he shivered from the coolness of the stone altar against his bare back.

"If that's so, then why is he walking up now?" Tanyana asked as she stared ahead to see John walking towards her confidently with his hands held up in the air with the palms facing her.

"Wh-what?" Sammy questioned as he tried to look towards the area where the witch was now facing without success. But he soon knew the witch's words were true as his fathers words floated across the distance to his disbelieving ears.

"Okay, I'm here. You can let my son go now." John informed the witch as he approached the altar that his son now resided on. "He hasn't done anything to you. It's me you want so set him free."

Sam was confused by the words his father was saying. Why would he offer himself up to the witch when he obviously hated him. It made no sense for his dad to do what he was doing now, unless of course he was doing it as a show for Dean. That had to be it, he was trying to make things look good for Dean. But then where was his brother? Dean had to be out there somewhere for his dad to be putting on such a show of caring.

"You are so wrong John, it is him that I want. With his death, I will get my revenge on you for destroying my coven while at the same time gaining untold power from my master below." Tanyana stated as she picked up the dagger and caressed the blade with her fingers.

"Well then just imagine the powers your master would bestow on you if you killed me instead" John said as he moved closer to the altar. "I'm sure he would be more pleased with you taking out the hunter who has sent hundreds of his minions back to hell and ruined his master plan."

"Hmmm, that does make for an interesting bargaining chip" Tanyana stated thoughtfully, "But I'd rather see the pain in your eyes as you lose the last precious gift your wife bestowed upon you."

John's heart ached with the thought that he could indeed lose one of the two most precious things Mary had gifted him with before her untimely death. And to make matters worse, if Sammy were killed tonight, he would die thinking his dad hated him.

"Please don't hurt him" John begged as he watched Dean and the others approaching from different areas. He knew the witch would take great enjoyment out of hearing him beg and he would do it a hundred times over if it meant saving his baby's life.

"If only my sisters could be here now to see the great John Winchester begging, it would be a wonderful night indeed" Tanyana gloated. "But how about having your oldest watch instead." she said as she turned to face the area where Dean was making his approach.

"Show yourself or your brother dies now." Tanyana called out as she held the dagger above Sammy's chest in warning.

"No don't" Dean shouted out as he came out from behind the bush he had been hiding behind. He raised his hand in surrender as he slowly approached keeping his eyes on Sammy the whole time. He watched as Sammy turned his head to look his way after hearing his voice and his heart nearly broke at the shattered look in his brother's eyes.

Turning her attention back to the oldest Winchester, Tanyana said "I warned you what would happen if you didn't come alone. You choose to ignore my warnings and now young Samuel has to die for your insolence." She raised the dagger high above her head and prepared to plunge it deep into Sammy's chest.

"Nooooo" both Winchesters screamed as they saw the blade starts it's descent towards Sammy who had no chance of evading a killing blow since he was securely tied down. They both rushed forward throwing themselves towards the altar as the blade completed its journey and plunged deep into…

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 13**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously: **_"Nooooo" both Winchesters screamed as they saw the blade starts it's descent towards Sammy who had no chance of evading a killing blow since he was securely tied down. _

They both rushed forward throwing themselves towards the altar as the blade completed its journey and plunged into John's shoulder just as he threw himself over Sammy to keep his youngest from being killed. John grunted in pain as he felt the dagger slice through his skin and could feel it as it impacted with his shoulder blade. He broke out in a cold sweat from the pain as he felt Sammy trembling beneath him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how it affected Sammy's psyche to see that knife coming towards his chest with a killing blow.

As he felt the dagger being forcefully yanked out, John tried to prepare himself to be stabbed again. No matter how bad it hurt him, he had to make sure Sammy stayed protected and that meant keeping him covered. He'd been through enough trauma in the last few days to last him a lifetime. Knowing he could be facing his last minutes on earth, he whispered "I love you Sammy, I swear on your mother's grave that I never wanted to hurt you." He couldn't leave this world knowing that Sammy believed he hated him.

Suddenly he heard a loud shriek and glanced up in relief to see that Dean's throwing knife was now embedded into the witch's chest. He didn't take the time to delight in the sight however as he watched Tanyana withdraw the blade with seemingly no pain at all.

"Stupid little boy. It will take much more than a pitiful weapon to bring down a supreme witch of the highest order like me" Tanyana stated haughtily as she waved a hand over the wound and sealed it. "The powers of darkness will always win over the powers of light." she cooed as she chanted a spell and Dean fell to his knees with his hands grasping at an invisible obstruction that left him choking as he tried to gasp in air to no avail.

"Oh God Dean" John gasped as he saw his oldest fall to his knees. He was now torn between having to protect one son over the other knowing that either choice he made could lead to one of his children dying within the next few minutes. He knew if he chose to help Dean and left Sammy open to attack that Dean would never forgive him, but then Sammy would feel the same way if he just let something happen to Dean without even trying to help him. _"What am I supposed to do?"_ he thought to himself just as he noticed Tanyana return her attention back to him and Sammy.

"You have interfered in my plans for the last time hunter." Tanyana informed John as she raised the ceremonial dagger once again in a side motion this time ready to use it to slice the carotid artery in John's neck with one fatal slash.

John closed his eyes and prepared himself to meet his maker as he saw the knife start towards him when he heard a shot ring out. He opened his eyes to see a smoking gun in Luke's hand and Tanyana cradling her right wrist with her left hand, the dagger nowhere in sight. Within seconds he heard an ear piercing wail as Tanyana screamed out in agony after being doused with the concoction that Bobby had brewed up as Bobby began to recite the binding spell that would render powerless.

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As Bobby and Luke finally neared the clearing, they were stunned to see the events that were happening before their very eyes. Dean was laying on the ground gasping for air as he struggled to pull something from his throat that neither man could see. It was obvious to both men that Dean was losing the battle as his lips began to turn blue. Looking over toward John, they could see that he was in one heck of a predicament also as the witch prepared to kill him with the dagger she held in her hands.

Using his ability as a marksman in the Marines, Luke took careful aim and stroked the trigger just as Tanyana was about to make the killing blow. He watched with satisfaction as the knife dropped from her stunned hand and she tried to shake the numbness out. Knowing that the time to strike was now, he pulled the canteen from his pocket and tossed it on Tanyana as he got within perfect distance of the witch. As he heard Bobby begin to recite the spell, he jogged over to help Dean who was now struggling to get to his feet.

As Bobby continued to iterate the spell from memory, John pushed himself up weakly to remove the bindings keeping Sammy secured to the altar. As he worked on releasing his hands, John looked into his eyes and shuddered at the empty look in them. Sammy had quit shaking and he stared off into nothingness. His limbs were held rigid as though he were a statue. Guilt ate away at John knowing that he had helped to put the desolate look there on his baby's face, he couldn't blame this one on just the witch. He had set the ball into motion and the witch picked it up and ran with it. "Sammy, can you hear me son?" John asked as he lightly tapped Sammy's cheek trying to get him to focus. Seeing no reaction, he sighed in despair as he walked down to release Sammy's feet.

After Bobby finished the binding spell, he walked up to the now defenseless witch and knocked her out with one solid punch to the jaw. "That is just the beginning of what you have coming" he stated feeling no guilt or remorse for the punch since he didn't consider the witch to be a woman, but an evil entity that had to be taken down. He dragged the witch over to a small tree and handcuffed her to it to make sure she wouldn't be able to escape before they could take care of her once and for all.

As John finished untying Sammy, he took notice of the others that were now surrounding him and his youngest. He saw the heartbroken look overtake Dean's eye's when he noticed the state that Sammy was in which was practically catatonic now. Dean didn't allow the look to remain long however as determination set in and he moved to stand in front of Sammy and pulled his baby brother into his arms. "You're safe now kiddo and I'll never let you out of my sight again." he whispered as he began to card his fingers through Sammy's hair. "You and I are going to take some time away from hunting and we're going to get through this as a family. You hear me Sammy? I won't let you down little brother. I'm going to bring you back to us if it's the last thing I do. You hear me kiddo? We're going to get through this together, you don't have to do it alone anymore."

Luke watched the two brothers with tears in his eyes as he saw the devotion that Dean had for his baby brother. Now it made total sense to him as to why Sammy had been so shattered at the thought of having nearly killed his brother before running away. He just hoped the bond he was now witnessing would be enough to pull Sammy back from the edge of the precipice he was now standing on. The kid needed a lifeline if he was going to survive with his mind still intact. He was soon drawn out of his thoughts as he heard John speaking.

"Dean, I want you and Luke to get Sammy out of here so Bobby and I can take care of Tanyana. He's already traumatized enough, he doesn't need to witness what we're going to do to the bitch to make her pay." John informed his oldest knowing that Dean wouldn't be able to get Sammy out by himself with his shoulder injury.

Dean nodded his affirmation as he spoke quietly to Sammy. "You hear that kiddo, we're getting you out of here. I can't carry you with my shoulder the way it is so Luke is going to pick you up okay tiger?" Dean was disappointed when Sammy didn't show any signs of hearing a single word he said. He watched as Luke bent in and placed a hand under his brother's knees and one in the middle to upper part of his back and then lifted him effortlessly off of the altar. "We'll meet you back at the car." Dean informed his father as he watched Bobby applying first aid to his dad's shoulder before walking away with Luke walking beside him.

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After watching Luke leave with both of his boys, John turned to Bobby and said "Let's get to work." Both hunters set about to gathering kindling as the kept an eye on the witch to make sure she wasn't escaping. As they gathered the wood, they set it up in a pyre around the small tree that Bobby had handcuffed Tanyana to. The witch was about to experience the terror that her sisters of long ago dealt with during the so called Salem Witch Trials.

After enough kindling had been gathered, Bobby soaked it down in lighter fluid as John salted the kindling and then the semi-conscious witch to make damned sure she wouldn't return as a nasty spirit later on to enact revenge. Now wanting to start an accidental forest fire, they used a shovel to build a firebreak around the area to make sure the fire wouldn't be able to spread once it was started.

Standing back and waiting, John and Bobby watched as recognition slowly dawned in Tanyana's eyes upon waking. Terror leapt into her eyes as she noticed the pyre built around her and then smelled the lighter fluid. She started cursing the hunters as she tried to free herself from what was meant to be her funeral pyre. "Let me go now or you will pay for this insolence with your lives. My master will haunt your every dream and cause you to suffer unimaginable horrors. Your children will…"

"Be just fine" John said as he cut off the witch mid rant. "You are the one who is now going to pay. Nobody messes with my family and gets away with it. If it had only been me that you messed with, I would have given you a quick and painless death. But you brought my boys into your revenge when they had nothing to do with the former hunt. You took the love I had for my youngest and turned it into something vile and disgusting and for that you will pay dearly. I can also promise you this--you will not win. I will do whatever it takes to gain back Sammy's love and respect.

Pulling out a pack of matches, John lit one and then set the rest afire before dropping the pack onto the wood doused in lighter fluid. He and Bobby watched as the kindling immediately caught and a conflagration soon began to build. They watched as Tanyana's struggles became frantic and she started trying to kick the wood away with her feet. Soon her screams could be heard as the flames roared up and her clothing caught fire. It took only moments for the screams to fade away as Tanyana finally paid for her evil deeds. As Bobby and John watched the fire die down and turn to ashes, they never noticed the black cat that watched the proceedings from afar silently slink off to find another owner and fight another time.

After making sure that the bones had disintegrated, Bobby and John dug a shallow grave and scooped the ashes inside before covering the hole up once again. Due to the remoteness of the area, they figured it would be back to its pristine glory with no signs of a fire having raged there before any hikers came traipsing along and discovered the events that had happened there tonight.

By the time that Bobby and John had hiked back to the Impala a few hours later, they saw Luke standing guard outside the car allowing Dean some private time alone with his baby brother. John slowly walked up and glanced into the window to see that Sammy still stared off into space even though he was cradled protectively within his brothers arms. His heart broke as he watched a steady stream of tears flowing down Dean's face as he softly whispered words that were only meant for his brother. Looking at the other men with tears glistening in his own eyes, John said "Lets get the boys somewhere safe and secure. Once we do that, I want to find the punks who tried to rape my baby and make them pay for the trauma they inflicted on Sammy. They'll wish they had never laid a finger on him after I get finished with them.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 14**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: **I was trying to get out a new chapter of Lessons in Pain but this one just wouldn't leave me alone. I promise to have the other up no later than tomorrow!

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**Previously: **_John's heart broke as he watched a steady stream of tears flowing down Dean's face as he softly whispered words that were only meant for his brother. Looking at the other men with tears glistening in his own eyes, John said "Lets get the boys somewhere safe and secure. Once we do that, I want to find the punks who tried to rape my baby and make them pay for the trauma they inflicted on Sammy. They'll wish they had never laid a finger on him after I get finished with them._

"John, I think I have the perfect place for you and the boys until Sammy's on his feet again. There's a cabin not too far from here up in the hills--only about a forty five minute drive away. It's nice and secluded and nobody will bother you and the boys." Bobby said knowing that the Winchester's didn't need to be holed up in some hotel with the way things were with Sammy right now in case the kid lost it.

"Bobby, I'm not too sure I want to have him so far away from a hospital right now. I mean what if…"

"John, if you were to take Sammy to a hospital right now they would most likely lock the kid away in a psych ward and neither he or Dean could handle that right now. Just give Dean a chance, you know as well as I do that if anyone can get through to Sammy it will be his big brother."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks Bobby" John replied knowing that his boys had a bond that was unbreakable. "Are you sure the cabin's safe?"

"Oh yeah, like a fortress. The cabin belonged to Denny Williams before he was killed on a hunt. He set that cabin up like a safe house with all the wards and sigils he had in place. He built the damn thing of consecrated iron and then covered it with logs to make it look like any other ordinary log cabin. Your boys will be safer there than any other place right now." Bobby replied.

"Okay, let's get moving then." John said as he started walking around to the driver's side of the Impala and climbed in. The sooner they got there the better it would be. He waited for Bobby and Luke to load up and then headed off in the direction that Bobby pointed. As John drove, he kept glancing in the rearview mirror to check on his youngest. It broke his heart to see Sammy so unresponsive and seemingly unaware of his environment. He made a pledge to himself right then and there to put off the hunt for as long as it took to get Sammy better.

After the forty five minute drive that was filled with silence, John pulled up to the rustic looking cabin that was situated in a grove of trees. He looked the place over and liked what he saw. Not only did they have a place where Sammy would be kept safe until he healed, but there was a lake situated out back that would be great for fishing. Maybe they would be able to break through those walls that Sammy built up around himself while out on a boat in the middle of the lake.

"John, take your boys inside and get them settled while Luke and I get your things." Bobby stated knowing that John needed some time alone with his boys. He could feel John's frustration at the situation building and knew he wouldn't show his emotions with others around.

John smiled his thanks at Bobby as he reached into the back seat and placed an arm under Sammy's knees and one around his back. "I've got him Ace." John stated as he lifted Sammy from Dean's arms and cradled his youngest to his chest as silent tears began to run down his face. He set off quickly towards the cabin with Dean walking beside him.

Upon opening the door, John glanced around. The cabin was relative clean and had all the amenities they would require. Looking off to his right, he could see a bedroom with a king sized bed situated in the middle of the room. He carried Sammy into the room and pulled back the comforter before tenderly laying his youngest on the bed. Sitting on the side of the bed, he ran his fingers through Sammy's hair as he spoke to him in a soft comforting tone. "Sammy, I need you to wake up for me baby so that I can make things up to you. I know that I have been horrible to you and that I've lost your trust, but I swear I never meant to hurt you kiddo. I need you to know that you're safe now and that I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel safe again. I love you Sammy. Please don't hate me kiddo." John whispered as he laid his head on Sammy's chest and began to cry in earnest.

Dean stood silently at the bottom of the bed with a huge lump in his throat as he heard his father's heart rending words to Sammy. He could tell how much it was tearing his dad apart to think that Sammy hated him right now and he just didn't know how to make things better between the two of them. He wished they could raise the damn witch and kill her all over again for the pain she was putting their family through right now.

Finally pulling himself together, John wiped his eyes with his sleeve and looked up at Dean. "I need you to stay here with your brother so Bobby, Luke and I can go take care of those punks who tried to rape Sammy."

"You know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else" Dean replied as he walked over and sat down on the bed beside his baby brother needing to be as close to Sammy as possible. "Don't worry dad, I won't leave his side."

"I know you won't Ace." John replied with a smile as he walked over towards the door. "Bobby and I will salt the windows and doors before we leave so you won't have to worry about it. I'm not sure how long we'll be gone, but we'll get back as soon as possible son."

"Don't sweat it dad, Sammy and I will be just fine!" Dean stated trying to take at least a little of the weight off of his dad's shoulders. He watched his dad leave before climbing into the bed and laying down beside Sammy. He could feel his brother lightly shivering and pulled the comforter up over them before pulling Sammy into his side. "I've gotcha little brother."

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As they made the drive back to the town where Sammy had been attacked, John informed Bobby and Luke about what he planned to do to the boys. He knew chances were that they could have been influenced by Tanyana, but they wouldn't have acted on that influence if they weren't scumbags deep down. He didn't plan on killing the boys, but he would make damned sure they never attacked another innocent kid again by scaring them pretty bad.

After arriving back in the town where the attack occurred. John parked the Impala at an all night diner and then he and the others set out on foot to meet up with Ben once again and then search for the boys who had hurt Sammy. Luke filled his best friend in on some of the events that had happened and promised to let him in on the rest at a later time. After being told of the plan to get back at the attempted rapists, Ben decided he wanted in on the action. Those hoodlums had been causing a lot of problems for the homeless people in town and he wanted to be there when they was taken down off of their high horses.

Luke took the lead since he and Ben would most likely know the places where the punks might hang out. They finally got lucky a few hours later when Luke pointed out the five young boys who were exiting a gaming arcade with a swagger to their stride. John took an instant dislike to the boys as he watched how they pushed people out of their way while walking up the street. The punks thought they owned the street and he was more than ready to prove them wrong. They soon fell in a fair distance behind and watched the boys until they turned down what Luke knew to be a dead end alley.

As John and the others rounded the corner, the first thing they noticed was the boys leaning against a graffiti covered wall as they chugged down beer. The boys looked as if they didn't have a care in the world as they laughed and cursed and smashed their empty bottles against the stone wall behind them. Glaring at the boys in disgust, John started walking towards them with the others following. They had covered over half the distance to the gang when John said rather loudly "Well what do we have here? Looks to me like a bunch of pansy assed queers who don't know how to hold their beer."

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Jimbo the leader of the group asked. "You better get your asses out of here before we teach you a lesson you won't soon forget." Jimbo stated with authority.

"That's funny, that's just what we were planning to do to you." John said as he walked up to Jimbo and poked him roughly in the chest with his index finger.

"You're crazy man, I'm gonna frigging kill you" Jimbo seethed as he flexed his fists. Nobody comes on our turf and tries to push us around.

"Bring it on chubby" John said with a smirk. "I'm gonna teach you not to mess with defenseless teenagers ever again."

"What the hell you going on about you crazy lunatic?" Jimbo inquired as his boys surrounded him while Bobby and the others did the same with John.

"I'm talking about my son!" John answered forcefully through clenched teeth. You bastards took it upon yourself to attack him the other night and now you're gonna pay."

"Hey, I think the loon is talking about pretty boy" Andy smirked as he licked his lips to taunt John. "The kid sure had a nice ass. If he shows his pretty boy face again, we'll make sure to have a little fun with him." Andy didn't have time to react as John's fist flew forward and punched him square on the nose. John could feel the cartilage disintegrate under his fingers and knew the kid's nose was most definitely broken.

"Get them" Jimbo yelled as he launched himself towards John trying to tackle him to the ground. John however deftly sidestepped him and clipped the punk behind the ear with his fist. He didn't take time to check what was going on with the other punks knowing that Bobby and the others would handle them with ease. He took a fighting stance and waited for Jimbo to make his move again.

As Jimbo swung his fist aiming for John's cheek. John caught it in his hand and quickly twisted the boys arm around and behind his back. "Nice try tubby, but you ain't no match for me" he said as he released the kid once again and then goaded him by saying "Is that all you have? Hell you're weaker than my ninety year old grandmother!"

"You son of a bitch, you're a dead man" Jimbo stated as he tried to kick John in the groin but made contact with his thigh instead. He then started swinging wildly with his fists as he tried to connect with John's body. John expertly avoided the blows by using his forearms to keep the blows from landing. Finally tiring of playing with the punk, he landed a solid punch to the kid's jaw and watched him drop to the ground dazed. He looked over to see that Bobby and the others had the rest of the thugs on their knees as Bobby held a gun on them.

"Time to teach these bastards a lesson" John stated as he herded Jimbo over to the rest of the group. He looked each boy in the eye until they were forced to look away and said "Take off their clothes, it's time these fugly boys found out what it's like to be forcefully stripped." He stood by in satisfaction and watched as Bobby and the others removed the punks jeans and shirts leaving them in just their undergarments.

Pulling out his knife, John ran it along his thumb and said "Maybe I ought to castrate them and shove that thing up their own asses since they seemed so eager to do it my baby just the other day." He watched as the boys began to violently shiver at the thought of losing their manhood.

"Mister please" one the boys stated as tears began to roll down his eyes. "I swear I won't do it again, please, I'm begging you."

John smiled as he realized he had finally driven his point home. "Bobby, where's that permanent marker?" he asked and waited for Bobby to hand it over. He then wrote the word rapist in big bold letters across their bare chests. Once he was finished, he walked the boys out into the deserted street and tied them securely to the light poles.

"You're lucky I am allowing you to live. If I ever hear of you boys attacking another kid, I'll be back and carry out my threat." John stated before turning his back and walking away. Yeah, he knew he had been somewhat severe with the boys, but he was sure they'd never touch an innocent kid again. As they walked away, John took a deep calming breath and whispered "I need to get back to my boys."

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 15

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 15**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: **I received a review to this story that in effect told me that the story was too hard (jarring) to read because I was CONSTANTLY leaving out the comma's. The review also said that she probably wasn't alone in this and that others probably felt it too. I write for fun and because it is relaxing for me. If you find it too hard to read my stories because of punctuation, please let me know now and **I WILL STOP POSTING **after finishing the stories I am working on now. I **do not **want my stories to be a chore for you to read.

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**Previously: **_As they walked away, John took a deep calming breath and whispered "I need to get back to my boys." _

On the drive back to the cabin, John sat in relative silence thinking as Bobby did the driving. It had been decided that Bobby and Luke would join him and the boys in staying at the cabin since John and Dean would have to focus all of their attention on getting Sammy better. Bobby knew without a doubt that they would most likely be safe from the supernatural world, but there was no sense in taking any chances. Combine that with the fact that hikers or hunters could accidentally stumble upon the place, well, let's just say it made for an over protective Bobby.

As John glanced out the window on the rainy and dreary night, he couldn't help but think of the things he had said to his son. _"How could you be so frigging stupid Sam and not drop the knife when you felt yourself falling?…Hell, with you as a little brother Dean will be lucky if he lives to see twenty one." _How could he have said such mean and hateful words to his baby boy? And to make matters worse, he had told Sammy that he was to stay away from Dean knowing damn well what that would do to the boy since he worshipped his older brother. He sighed deeply feeling in his heart that he had hurt Sammy much more with words than the witch ever could have with her actions. "S'all my fault" he whispered as he watched the falling rain, the weather dampening his mood even more.

"You know that's not true" Bobby stated hoping to relieve some of John's guilt upon hearing the confession that John had meant for nobody to hear. "You never would have acted the way you did if it weren't for the spell that was placed upon you. Hell John, everybody knows how much you love that boy."

"How can you be so sure Bobby?" John asked as he glanced over at the other hunter. "What if I had those feelings deep down? I mean there had to have been something there to begin with or Tanyana couldn't have capitalized on it right?"

"Don't think like that John. You've done the best you could by those boys. You never once thought for a second about leaving those boys behind, about giving them up, so don't sit there and tell me that you could have had neglectful feelings towards Sammy. Sure you and the boys have had a rough life and you and Sammy have had some fights, but you kept your family together and that's what matters." Bobby informed his obviously hurting friend.

"I just need to talk to him Bobby, to let him know how much I love him and how much I regret my actions, but what if he won't listen? What if he's scared of me Bobby? I just couldn't handle that."

"Things are bound to be rough to begin with John, you'll just have to stick with it until you break through and reach Sammy. If he's scared, then back off and allow Dean to handle things for a little while. Take slow and easy steps until the strides can become bigger. You just have to move along at Sammy's pace and I'm sure things will eventually be right between the two of you once again." Bobby said as he glanced at John every so often while keeping his eyes on the road.

As Luke sat in the backseat listening to the men talk, he realized just how wrong he had been about John and how much he loved his children. He silently prayed that John would be able to get through to the kid and that their family would come out stronger for the fight to keep it together.

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As Dean sat cradling his baby brother in his arms, he tried to keep a constant monologue going to let Sammy know that he was there. "You know Sammy, once we get you feeling better and up and moving, I think we should go on a hike here in these mountains. It's beautiful this time of year with all of the leaves changing color and who knows what kind of wildlife we could find. Do you remember that time dad actually took us to the zoo? You cooed ever the baby fawns. If we're lucky, maybe we can see some of them in their true habitat. What do you think Sammy? Would you like to go?" Dean waited for some sign of awareness, but upon getting none, he said, "That's okay kiddo, you just let me know when you're ready. It doesn't have to be anytime soon. I'll be here when you're ready to talk once again. I love you Sammy and I need you so don't give up on me please." Dean pleaded with his voice breaking.

Deep inside the recesses of his mind, Sammy found himself standing on the edge of a cliff. All he had to do was take one big step and things would be over quickly. The fall looked to be a few hundred feet and surely it would kill him instantly. He took a deep breath and started to move a foot forward when he heard something in the distance, something that seemed familiar. He couldn't tell what it was, but he strained his ears to listen for it. It sounded soothing and gave him hope that maybe things could eventually get better, maybe he wasn't all alone. But looking down into the deep crevice once again, he longed for things to just end, for him not to hurt anymore. Closing his eyes, he bean to move forward once again when he heard the unmistakable sound of Dean's voice this time_. "I love you Sammy and I need you so don't give up on me please." _Could it be true, did Dean still love him, even after he had almost killed him?

Scooting back from the edge, Sammy tried to call out to his brother but his voice just wouldn't work. He wanted to ask Dean why he even cared anymore after everything he did. Didn't he understand that their father was right? He wasn't any good for Dean and would only hurt him in the end. Wouldn't it be easier for Dean if he just walked away and pretended he didn't have a little brother anymore. He bent his head to his knees and wrapped his arms around his knees. He felt so confused and didn't know what was right anymore. Slowly he began to rock himself as he tried to figure out what he was supposed to do.

Dean sat up against the headboard and pulled Sammy up to his chest. The shivers seemed to be getting worse and he didn't know if was from whatever Sammy was facing behind the walls he had built or if it was because he was getting sick. Sammy had started running a slight fever from the feel of it and he would have to keep a close eye on it, even though God only knew how he could rouse him to take some Tylenol. Pulling the comforter on the bed around his trembling baby brother, he said, "If you don't feel like going on that hike, maybe we could take the boat out on the lake and do some fishing Sammy. You know Pastor Jim used to say this lake had the biggest rainbow trout in all of the United States. I bet you could land a whopper. Just think, you could put me and dad to shame with the fish you reeled in. Wouldn't you like that kiddo? All you have to do is wake up and I'll do whatever it is you want to do, I swear it tiger." Dean felt the tears welling in his eyes once again and placed his cheek on the top of Sammy's head as he started to rock back in forth. He didn't know if the motion was to comfort Sammy or himself.

Dean took a few minutes to pull himself together and then realized he needed to get some Tylenol into Sammy before his fever rose higher. He propped Sammy up on the massive pillows on the bed and then scooted off of the bed to get a glass of water and their first aid kit. He quickly popped the child proof cap off the bottle and then pulled out two of the red and white capsules. He dumped the contents into the halfway filled glass of water. Returning to the bed, he gently pulled Sammy's mouth open just a little. "Sammy, I need you to swallow this for me." he begged as he poured a little of the water into Sammy's mouth only to watch it dribble out. _"No, no, no, you have to swallow this Sammy please"_ he thought desperately. Knowing that Sammy really needed the medicine, he tried again. But this time he gently stroked his brother's neck in a downward motion which automatically kicked in his swallowing reflex. "That's it kiddo, you're doing great" Dean enunciated as he continued the process over the next twenty minutes until Sammy had swallowed all of the water.

After Sammy had finished the glass of water, Dean set the glass on the dresser and then walked into the bathroom to get a bowl of water and a clean washcloth. He carried the items into the master bedroom and sat them on the dresser beside the bed. "Sammy, I'm just going to give you a sponge bath tiger. You've got some dirt on you and I know that can't feel too comfortable." Dean said as he began to wash his baby brother's face. He took extra care around the scrapes that he had on his cheek wondering where they came from. After washing his face and neck, Dean pulled down the comforter to his waist to take care of washing his chest and arms. Seeing the bruise that was still a vivid blue and purple in the form of brass knuckles, Dean swore viciously under his breath. _"I hope dad makes those bastards pay big time" _he thought knowing how painful Sammy's side had to have been. He took the time to prod Sammy's ribs carefully to see if he needed to bind them. He breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't feel any obvious movement underneath his finger tips. He then finished up the sponge bath by washing his brother's legs and feet.

Not knowing when the last time was that Sammy had put on clean boxers, Dean covered up his baby brother with the comforter to protect his privacy and then wiped him down as best he could without looking with the wet washcloth before putting a clean pair of boxers on him. He was glad that Sammy wasn't awake for that at least because his baby brother would have been embarrassed big time. "At least now you're clean and fresh tiger. Just go ahead and rest." he said as he carried the bowl of now dirty water and washcloth back to the bathroom.

He returned to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed and carded his fingers though Sammy's hair. "This I going to need a washing too ya know." he informed his brother with a wistful look just as he heard the sound of the Impala pulling up outside. "Looks like dad's back" he informed his little brother as he patted him lightly on the chest and then walked out of the bedroom to see his dad, Bobby, and Luke entering the cabin.

"How'd it go?" Dean questioned needing to know that the punks had been dealt with.

"It went fine, those hoodlums have paid for what they did. I don't think they'll have the balls to ever attack another defenseless kid again." John answered as he nodded his head towards the bedroom where Sammy now lay and asked "How's he doing?"

"Dean sighed and said "There hasn't been a change other than the fact that he started running a slight fever a little while ago." Seeing the concerned look on his father's face, he added, "I was able to get him to swallow a little water with some Tylenol mixed in it by stroking his throat to induce his swallowing reflex.

"S'good" John informed his son as he lay and hand on his shoulder and then walked into the bedroom. He placed his palm on Sammy's forehead to feel that the fever hadn't abated yet. Pulling up chair beside the bed, he took one of Sam's hands in his and held it as he ran the fingers of his other hand though Sammy's hair. "Please wake up soon son, I really need to make things up to you."

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 16**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: **I just want to say thanks once again for all of your wonderful support. It lifts the spirits to know we have such a wonderful group of readers in the Supernatural community.

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**Previously: **_"S'good" John informed his son as he lay and hand on his shoulder and then walked into the bedroom. He placed his palm on Sammy's forehead to feel that the fever hadn't abated yet. Pulling up chair beside the bed, he took one of Sam's hands in his and held it as he ran the fingers of his other hand though Sammy's hair. "Please wake up soon son, I really need to make things up to you."_

Dean thought about taking a quick shower while his dad sat with Sammy, but he didn't want to chance not being there if Sammy woke up. There was no telling how his baby brother would react if he opened his eyes to find himself alone with their dad. Fearing that it could cause a major setback, Dean decided to forego the shower and sat on the leather sofa in the family room where he had a clear view of Sammy in the bedroom. This gave their father some privacy with Sammy, but still allowed him to maintain awareness of just how alert Sammy was.

Dean watched his father leave Sammy's side only for him to return a few seconds later with a bowl of water and a wash cloth. He watched as his dad soaked the cloth into the water and then wrung the excess water out as he placed the cool cloth on Sammy's forehead. From his vantage point, he could tell that his dad was talking to Sammy but he was unable to hear what he was saying. He couldn't even begin to imagine the weight his dad was carrying on his shoulders right now due to the guilt he was carrying for his part in what happened. He hoped his dad wouldn't crack under the stress of waiting on Sammy to wake because he just couldn't handle that along with everything else that was going on right now.

Thinking back on all of the things that happened, Dean couldn't help but wonder if their family would ever recover from it. Sure, there had been times when they hit obstacles along the way, but they had always been able to overcome them because of their love for one another. But now. now he worried that family love wouldn't be enough this time. Too many words had been said in anger, words that had cut Sammy to his very soul. Would he be willing to risk his heart again after having it shattered once already? He really didn't think so. Somehow, they would have to make Sammy believe that those words were all lies, lies meant to tear them apart. Building his resolve to keep his family together, Dean strolled back into the bedroom and took his place beside Sammy once again.

"Hey dad, I've been thinking that were going to have to be careful with Sammy. When he starts coming out of this catatonia or whatever it is, we need to slowly ease you back into his life at a rate that's set by him. We can't act like nothing happened between the two of you. If you force yourself on him, you'll only push him further away. Let me talk to him about Tanyana and what she did. Maybe with a little time, I'll be able to convince him of how much you love him." Dean stated as he locked eyes with his father.

"You don't have to worry Dean, I'm not going to do anything that might jeopardize Sammy's state of mind. I had already planned on letting you take the lead where Sammy is concerned. I'm not a fool, I know he needs you right now more than he's ever needed me. I've never been there for him the way I should have been. I left it to you to raise Sammy as he was growing up and it's my fault we don't have that father and son bond between us." John admitted as he fiddled with a hole in the knee of his jeans. Sure, there were times that he did things with Sammy, but it was only because he had too. He never once took Sammy out to throw the football with him like he had done with Dean when he was four years old. He never once asked if Sammy wanted to do something, he ordered him to do it.

"Dad, you did the best you could and Sammy knows that. It's just going to take him some time to work through the lies that were pounded into his head until he started believing they were true so we're going to have to rewire his thinking. Don't worry, we'll get through this and come out stronger for it." Dean replied with conviction since he wouldn't have it any other way. He was about to leave to get a cup of coffee when he noticed the slightest of movements coming from his little brother.

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As Sammy floated in that dimension between conscious awareness and blessed blackness, he could hear the sound of someone talking to him. It wasn't Dean, he could tell by the timbre of the voice which was much deeper than Dean's. He offhandedly wondered if it was his father, but knew that couldn't be so because his dad hated him so why would he even waste an ounce of breath by talking to him. He wished he could tell whoever it was that he was too hot, to please turn down the heat or something. But then he felt the soothing touch of something cool and wet being placed against his forehead. He heard whispered murmurings of "You're gonna be fine tiger and I will be here for as long as you need me. I acted like an ass and I almost lost one of the most precious gifts ever given to me. I'll make it up to you kiddo if you'll just let me. Please don't lock me out Sammy, I couldn't live with myself if you did that." Sammy tried to swallow down the lump that grew in his throat from the raw pain he could hear in the words. _"Damn, I wish dad felt that way about me."_ he sighed as he started to drift off again until he heard another voice join the conversation.

"Dean!" he thought to himself immediately recognizing the voice that soothed him and guided him all through his life. Dean was with him, he didn't know how, but his big brother was there. Dean would take care of everything and protect him! When the bed shifted slightly, he felt a sudden wave of fear thinking that Dean was going to leave him again. Knowing he couldn't handle being by himself any longer, he grasped out with his fingers to try and latch on to him to keep him from leaving.

"Sammy? Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean inquired as he immediately sat back down and grasped Sammy's hand using his thumb to rub circles on Sammy's palm. When Sammy showed no signs of movement, he spoke to his baby brother once again.

"Sammy, if you can hear me, I want you to squeeze my hand little brother." Dean waited with baited breath and finally felt a small squeeze. Tears suddenly rolled down his eyes as he looked at his dad with joy clearly seen on his face. "He did it, he squeezed my hand. He's finally starting to wake up."

"Thank God" breathed John as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he wouldn't have to wait too much longer to show his youngest that he was loved. He opened his eyes to see Dean solely focused on Sam as he encouraged him to open his eyes.

"Come on Sammy, open those beautiful blue-green peepers of yours for me. I know you can do it and I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll sit here and bug you all day if I have to." Dean stated meaning every word. Now that he knew Sammy was on the verge of waking up, he wasn't going to rest until it happened.

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As Sammy slowly opened his eyes, he blinked them a few times to clear away the cloudy haze that seemed to be shrouding everything. He soon felt a hand on his face and leaned in towards it and then his eyes glanced up to see Dean smiling down at him with tears cascading down his cheeks. "De" he tried to whisper but it came out a cough instead as his severely dry throat refused to voice his thoughts.

John stood up immediately to go get Sammy a glass of water to ease his parched throat knowing that Dean wouldn't want to leave his baby brother anytime soon now. Returning seconds later, he handed the glass which now contained water and a straw for drinking with over to Dean.

"Here dude, drink a little of this" Dean encouraged as he placed the straw to Sammy's lips. He only let him take a few swallows and then he pulled the glass away so Sammy wouldn't get sick.

"De...an, you're o-okay, you're really h-here." Sammy whispered as tears flooded his eyes and softly trailed down his cheeks.

"Yeah Sammy, I'm really here and I'm never going to let you leave me again." Dean answered as he pulled Sammy into his arms. He hugged his brother fiercely to let him know how much he loved him. "Don't you ever run away from me again!"

"M'Sor-ry" whispered Sammy as he buried his face in Dean's chest seeking his brother's comfort. "I did-didn't wanna leave, b-but I h-had too."

"I know you think that's true kiddo, but I can promise you that it's not. Dad never meant any of those things he said to you Sammy. He wouldn't have hurt you the way he did for anything in the world. You've got to believe me tiger. Dad loves you!"

"No he doesn't Dean, he hates me and he's right to do so. You should h-hate me t-too." Sammy replied before burying his face into Dean's chest and sobbing. "I almost killed you Dean. Dad was right when he said you would never live to see twenty one with a little brother like me."

"Sammy, I was so unbelievably wrong when I said that to you son. I didn't know what I was saying kiddo." John said unable to hold his voice any longer after hearing the unbridled distress in Sammy's voice. He immediately regretted speaking out however when he saw Sammy beginning to tremble uncontrollably.

Upon hearing his dad's voice, Sammy immediately began to fear what his dad would do to him since he was warned to stay away from Dean. He knew he was going to have to pay severely for his disobedience and began to violently tremble. "M'sorry, I'll go away and never come back, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me." Sam began to beg over and over as he struggled to get free from his brother's arms.

"Oh God, what have I done to my son?" John gasped out as he rushed from the room, tears falling down his face. He knew Sammy would have trouble forgiving him for what he did, but from the reaction he had just witnessed, Sammy was scared to death of him, something he never thought he'd ever see in his lifetime. He scrubbed a hand across his face as he stood with his back to the wall and slowly slid to the floor realizing just how much his words had traumatized his youngest--almost to the point of completely breaking him.

Tears feel unheeded down Dean's face as he tried to calm an extremely distraught Sammy and keep him from bolting away. He began to rock his brother back and forth as he whispered what he hoped were words of comfort into his baby brother's ear. "Shhh, I've got you kiddo and nobody's is going to hurt you. You don't have to leave Sammy, we're going to get through this together. Ya hear me kid? You're staying right here with me!" Remembering how much it calmed Sammy as a youngster, Dean began to softly hum the tune _He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. _It took over twenty minutes, but Dean could finally feel his brother's trembling start to subside as he cradled him close to his chest. "We're gonna be okay kiddo, I swear we're gonna be okay!

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 17**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

**Author's Note: I want to give my sincere thanks to each and every one of you who have reviewed this story. I would have never dreamed when I first started writing that one of my stories would receive over 500 reviews. You are a fantastic group of people and I can never thank you enough for the support you have given me as I branched out into the world of writing.**

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**Previously: **_You don't have to leave Sammy, we're going to get through this together. Ya hear me kid? You're staying right here with me!" Remembering how much it calmed Sammy as a youngster, Dean began to softly hum the tune He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother. It took over twenty minutes, but Dean could finally feel his brother's trembling start to subside as he cradled him close to his chest. "We're gonna be okay kiddo, I swear we're gonna be okay!_

As Dean felt Sammy relax against his chest, he assumed his brother had fallen asleep, especially since the trembling had stopped over a half hour ago and his breathing had become even. It wasn't until he tried to shift out from under his baby brother to make him more comfortable that Dean realized the error in his thinking.

"No, please don't leave me." Sammy stated as he clasped onto Dean's arm tightly enough that Dean thought it might leave bruises. "Please don't leave me alone again, not just yet, just give me a few more minutes and then I'll be fine and then you and dad can go and not look back."

"Whoa kiddo, why would we wanna do that?" Dean questioned as he leaned back against the headboard once again and tightened his hold on Sammy when he felt minute tremors beginning once again.

"Cause dad hates me. He told me I wasn't allowed to be around you any more unless he said so and I broke the rule." Sammy answered in a whisper afraid if he said it any louder that John would hear him and he'd have to pay the price.

"He doesn't hate you Sammy. Listen to me tiger. Dad was hexed by that witch that kidnapped you. She put a spell on him that made him act that way. He never meant to hurt you at all. And besides, you don't have to worry about dad hurting you anymore since we smoked her ass, the curse is gone now." Dean informed his baby brother praying once again that his words would get through.

"Yeah, okay." Sammy said agreeing with his brother even though he knew Dean was just saying those words to make him feel better. He just didn't feel up to disagreeing with Dean right now since all he really wanted to do was to go to sleep.

"Sammy, it's the truth. You've got to believe me." Dean pleaded with him since the disbelief was evident in Sammy's tone. "Just give him a chance okay, that's all I'm asking. We can take it slow and easy and I'll be with you every step of the way. You don't have to be alone with dad until you're ready, okay tiger?"

"Y-you promise?" Sam questioned as he looked up at Dean with the most sorrowful puppy dog expression he had ever seen in his life. Fear was still evident in that gaze and it broke Dean's heart to see it.

"I promise kiddo, you never have to be alone with dad again until you say so,."

"Thanks Dean." Sam replied as he closed his eyes to go to sleep, safe and secure within his brother's arms.

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As John sat quietly outside the door with his back to the wall listening to his boys talk, his heart nearly broke at the despair in Sammy's voice as he whispered for Dean not to leave him alone, to just give him a few more minutes before they left. Lord how he just wanted to go in there and tell him that they weren't leaving him behind, not now, not ever, but he knew Sammy wouldn't believe him. He listened to Dean's words of comfort as he tried to convince his baby brother how wrong he was, but heard the disbelief in Sammy's words when he muttered "Yeah, okay" John hung his head as he himself wondered if Sammy would ever believe the truth. He used to have total faith in everything Dean had ever said to him, if Dean said it, then it had to be true. But now when he needed Sammy to have faith the most, the kid was too distraught to even think about it coherently.

Just when he was about to lose faith himself in them ever being a family again, he heard Dean plead with Sammy a little more, to just give it some time and a chance, that he would be there with him every step of the way until Sammy felt comfortable. John's heart soared as he heard Sam's question of "You promise?" That meant that Sammy was at least willing to give the idea some thought. Maybe he had a chance after all. Knowing that actions speak louder than words, John knew he would have to show his love for his son and began to contemplate the things that he would do.

Glancing into the room just a few moments later, he noticed that both of his boys were now sleeping with Sammy cradled against Dean's chest. He took just a few moments to revel in watching them and then he walked to the kitchen to begin his preparations for operation: _Win Sammy Back. _

As Bobby and Luke walked into the kitchen after chopping some fire wood out back to give the Winchesters some privacy, they noticed John busily making sandwiches. "How about giving me a few of those John, I'm starved." Bobby stated as he walked over to the sink and washed his hands.

"Sorry Bobby, but these are for me and my boys. I'm going to take them on a fishing picnic as soon as they wake up." John announced as he placed some ham, cheese, lettuce, and mayonnaise on a slice of bread knowing that it was Sammy's favorite.

John, please don't build your hopes up too high." Bobby pleaded knowing that things very well could backfire on John. "Sammy might not be ready yet for this."

"I know that Bobby, but we can at least try. I have to do something to show him that I love him and want to spend time with him. He needs to know that I don't want him to go away, maybe this will prove it in some small, miniscule way."

"I just hope you're right John and that this doesn't backfire on you. But if it does, don't give up on the kid."

"Never Bobby" John stated with more conviction than he had had a little while ago. He was a Winchester and Winchester's never gave up.

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Approximately an hour later, John and the others looked up to see Dean and a very skittish looking Sammy walking out of the bedroom. Sammy was trailing behind Dean as he kept his eyes cast down towards the floor, refusing to look up and his fingers were busily worrying the tattered hem of the t-shirt he was now wearing. Feeling the uneasy silence that seemed to be building, Bobby asked ""Hey Sammy, how you feeling kiddo?"

"M'okay" was the usual answer Sammy gave without looking the hunter in the eyes. He reached out to grasp the back of Dean's t-shirt in comfort as he finally lifted his head to glance around and saw his dad sitting there.

"You don't look as pale son, hope that means the fever has abated" John said as he smiled at Sammy. "I was hoping that maybe you, Dean and I could go do some fishing and have a picnic lunch. Maybe we could even catch enough of those rainbow trout for Bobby and Luke to cook for dinner."

"I d-don't k-know if…" Sammy trailed off as he started chewing on his fingernails a little worried at the thought of spending time with his dad.

"Aw come on, it'll be fun Sammy. We haven't been fishing in a long time and I sure would like to go, but only if you do to." Dean pleaded as he worked Sam's hand lose from his shirt and turned around to plead with him. "I'll be there right beside you the whole time. Please dude?"

"Kay" whispered Sam as he dropped his gaze to the floor once again. He didn't want Dean to see just how unsure he was about the whole situation. He was extremely nervous about the idea, but he at least wanted Dean to be happy.

"Cool, let's go get the fishing poles" Dean stated with obvious glee in his voice.

"I've already got them Ace, they're outside leaning against the porch swing waiting on us" John said as he picked up the picnic basket and strode towards the door. He didn't want to make Sammy any more nervous than he already was by walking behind him.

Dean and Sam followed their dad out the door with Dean grabbing Sammy's jacket and putting it on him so he wouldn't catch a chill. The last thing they needed was for him to start running a fever again after it had finally reduced to normal. John picked up the tackle box while Dean carried the poles and they set out towards the lake. After nearly twenty minutes of walking, John found the perfect clearing for him and the boys. He sat the picnic basket and tackle box down before spreading out the blanket that he had carried along with him.

Grabbing one of the poles that Dean had laid on the ground, John picked it up and put a spinner on the end of the line since they were the best bait for catching trout. He started walking over towards Sammy to give him the pole when he saw Sammy quickly throw up his hands in front of himself in a defensive motion as he began to tremble. Taking a shaky breath at the thought that Sammy assumed he was going to attack him, John quickly stated "Sammy, I'm not going to hit you son, I was just going to give you the fishing pole I got ready for you." He held the pole out in front of him offering it to his youngest while waiting to see if Sammy would accept it.

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Sammy's reaction to John trying to give him the pole. _"Why the hell didn't I think about how that would affect him?"_ Dean silently cursed himself as he waited with bated breath to see what Sammy would do. Would he reach out and take the pole or would his trembling get worse ending their little fishing expedition before it ever got started. Either way, he was prepared to accept whatever happened. Things needed to move along at Sammy's pace and if that meant taking baby steps, then he and his dad would just have to deal with it.

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 18**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously: **_Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Sammy's reaction to John trying to give him the pole. "Why the hell didn't I think about how that would affect him?" Dean silently cursed himself as he waited with bated breath to see what Sammy would do. Would he reach out and take the pole or would his trembling get worse ending their little fishing expedition before it ever got started. Either way, he was prepared to accept whatever happened._

Dean's hopes that Sammy would accept the peace offering were soon dashed as he watched Sammy start scooting himself backwards away from his dad as his breathing began to hitch. He could see the way that Sammy's eyes were darting about as he looked for a route of escape. Knowing that he had to intervene and do it rather quickly, Dean reached out to take the pole from his father with a tight smile as he turned to face Sammy. "It's okay kiddo, come on, you can fish over there with me." Dean stated as he pointed out an area on the grass where he had already placed his own pole. He helped his trembling brother to his feet and guided Sammy over to sit down on the grass. Taking a spot directly behind his brother, Dean sat down and casted Sammy's pole out into the water. He stretched out his legs with Sammy sitting between them as if to provide a protective barrier for his baby brother. He soon felt Sammy starting to relax as his baby brother leaned back and rested against his chest. He placed the pole in Sammy's hands and then carded fingers through his hair. "That's it, just relax little brother, we'll take this slow and easy."

John watched with heartbreak as Sammy scooted himself away. He cursed himself inwardly for trying to push things too fast and scaring his youngest instead of trying to make amends with him the way he had wanted to. It was obvious to him now that it was going to take baby steps with Sammy before his youngest would ever accept him into his life once again. Rubbing his hand through his salt and pepper colored beard, he found a spot away from Dean and Sammy to give his youngest the space he needed right now and sat down to cast his own pole out into the water. Glancing over at his boys, he envied the ease at which Dean was able to take care of Sammy. He could only pray that it might be that way between him and his youngest someday. He was soon drawn out of his musing by hearing his oldest son's voice.

'Sammy, you've got one" Dean stated with excitement as he helped his brother to reel the fish in. As Sammy brought the fish near the edge of the lake, Dean grabbed a net and scooped it up and out of the water. "Damn kiddo, you've caught a whopper." he said as he held the fish up for Sammy to see. He saw a slight smile cross Sam's face for just a second before the fearful look took hold once again making him more determined than ever to get his Sammy back.

"Way to go son." John called out as he smiled at his youngest. "With a few more like that, Bobby will be able to fry up a mess of fish for us this evening." John said before he immediately returned his attention to his own pole not wanting to make Sammy uncomfortable by paying too much attention to him.

Approximately two hours later, John called out that it was time for lunch as he unpacked the sandwiches and three bottles of Coca Cola. He walked over and held out a sandwich to his youngest. "I made your favorite kiddo, ham and cheese, with a little lettuce and mayonnaise."

Sammy looked at the sandwich in his dad's hand and then into father's eyes. He reached out slowly and accepted the sandwich with a tight smile before focusing on the ground once again. He couldn't believe his dad had actually made his favorite sandwich when he was always made to eat peanut butter and jelly most of the time because ham was too expensive.

John breathed a silent sigh of relief when Sammy accepted the sandwich and his feelings soared when Sammy graced him with a tight smile. Sure, it wasn't much, but Sammy finally responded to him positively and he couldn't ask for more than that. Not wanting to push things, he quickly sat a bottle of Coke down beside his baby boy and then grabbed a sandwich and a drink for himself before returning to his own area.

Dean silently praised his father as he watched him walk away. He knew how hard it was for his dad not to pull Sammy into his arms after that tiniest show of acceptance, but thank goodness his dad had enough sense to know when to pull back and not ruin things.

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After a few hours of fishing, the Winchesters returned back to the cabin with twelve nice sized rainbow trout to be cooked for their evening meal. As Dean cleaned the fish with Sammy by his side, Luke marveled out how well Sam responded to his older brother. There was so much trust in the younger one's eyes and it was obvious Dean was protective of Sammy, much like that of a father.

Looking over towards Bobby, Luke said, "You know Bobby, it amazes me to watch Dean and Sammy together. The bond those two have is so strong and it's hard not to notice how protective Dean is of his baby brother…almost like he was the father instead of John."

"You have to know the Winchesters and their way of life to understand why that's so." Bobby replied as he glanced at the boys himself. "John has always been the strong one in the family, always taking on the Supernatural creatures and taking them out without a second thought. He was so focused on the boys safety growing up and getting revenge for his wife's death that he never really built a bond between him and Sammy like he did with Dean before the night of the fire. John was physically present with his boys, but he was emotionally absent so if fell on Dean to take care of himself, and more importantly, to take care of Sammy."

"It's a shame that John felt he had to give up so much in his quest to get revenge. It's obvious he regrets it now just watching how much he is hurting with they way things are between him and Sammy now. I just hope they can get past this as a family. Maybe John will have a second chance to make things right with his youngest." Luke replied

"That's the life of a hunter," Bobby mumbled sadly as he thought about how much he had given up in his own life. Hell, he had been forced to kill his own wife when she fell victim to supernatural circumstances and he just didn't have the will to fall in love again much less raise a family with the life he lead. He didn't know how John kept from losing his sanity with trying to raise his boys knowing what was truly out there. Of course John had been thrust into the life already as a father of two so there really wasn't too much he could have done about it.

Bobby was drawn out of his musings as he heard Dean calling out that he had the fish cleaned and ready to cook. Walking into the kitchen, Bobby took the cleaned fish and washed them good. He pulled out a frying pan and added canola oil to it and placed it on the stove to heat while he battered the fish for frying. There was no way he was going to allow John to ruin such a nice dinner by taking on the cooking since it was well known amongst them that John was the world's worst cook. As the fish cooked, he also peeled some potatoes to make fries with to complete their evening meal.

Once the food was finished cooking, Bobby placed it out on the table and called out that dinner was ready. He was hoping that Sammy would join them for a sit down meal, only to be disappointed when Dean walked in and informed them that Sammy was feeling tired so he and his baby brother would be eating their meal in the bedroom. Bobby glanced over to notice the immediate look of disappointment that crossed John's face before he had a chance to hide it and he felt sorry for his hunter friend.

Reaching out to snag a plate, Dean placed two fish on the plate for himself and one for Sammy since his baby brother was still not eating much. He then loaded up another plate with fries and ketchup and carried them to the bedroom before returning just seconds later to grab them both a drink.

As the boys sat on the bed and ate, Dean made sure to watch how much Sammy was eating. The kid had lost entirely too much weight and he was going to make sure Sammy started putting some of that weight back on. He kept Sammy's attention off of how much he was eating by making small talk with his brother about the things he wanted to do while they were staying at the cabin. He was pleased to note that after a half hour had passed, Sammy had eaten all of his fish and most of the fries.

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Once dinner was finished, Dean decided it was time to get Sammy to talk about what had happened to him while he was out on his own. He knew Sammy would never fully heal until he got the whole horrible experience behind him and that including getting the attempted sexual attack out in the open. Lord knows he didn't want to talk about it, but for the sake of Sammy's mental health they had to.

Closing the door to the bedroom to give them some privacy, Dean sat on the bed in front of his baby brother, looked him in the eyes and said, "Sammy, I need to talk to you."

Sam sucked in a frightened breath as he saw the serious look on Dean's face. He could tell that Dean knew about the attack on him and he hung his head in shame. He was a Winchester and Winchesters were supposed to be able to protect themselves and he had failed at it twice. First with his father, and then with those hoodlums who had attacked him. How would he ever be able to look Dean in the eyes again now that his brother knew he was almost raped. He immediately rolled over on the bed and curled into himself with his back facing Dean as tears streamed down his face.

"Sammy, please don't turn away from me like this." Dean pleaded as he placed a comforting hand on his baby brother's shoulder. "You need to talk about what happened to you tiger or it will fester inside you until it shatters and destroys you."

"Pl-please Dean, just leave me a-alone" Sammy implored not wanting to bare his soul concerning the details of the attack. It was bad enough living through it and he didn't want Dean to hear all the gruesome details. He couldn't handle it if Dean lost respect for him.

"I can't do that kiddo. I love you too much to let what happened consume you. I promise you Sammy that it won't make me think any less of you. You're my baby brother and I would give my life for you. Please talk to me tiger so I can help you work through what happened."

**TBC **


	19. Chapter 19

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 19**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously: **_"I can't do that kiddo. Dean informed his younger brother. "I love you too much to let what happened consume you. I promise you Sammy that it won't make me think any less of you. You're my baby brother and I would give my life for you. Please talk to me tiger so I can help you work through what happened."_

Dean sighed deeply as Sammy remained quiet with his back to him. He could feel the shudders running through his body and hated that he was the cause of them. But he hated what the attempted rape was doing to Sammy even more. He had to get the kid to talk about what happened or it would eat him up inside leaving him a shell of the brother he knew and loved. Placing a hand in the small of Sammy's back, Dean began to rub it in gentle circles as he tried talking to him once again. "Sammy, I know what happened is tearing you apart kiddo and I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that you are blaming yourself for what happened. We we're always raised to believe that we had to be tough because that's how Winchesters were. But it hasn't always been that way, at least not for me. There were plenty of times where I found myself a quiet place where I could just sit down and have a good cry."

"Wh-what?" Sammy stuttered disbelievingly as he rolled over to face Dean with tears coursing silently down his cheeks.

"It's true kiddo. You never knew it because I never allowed you to see me in a moment of weakness, but believe me Sammy when I say I have had a lot of them. There were nights that I locked myself in the bathroom and had a good cry in the shower so you or dad never knew. You don't know how many times I've felt like a failure because I wasn't able to keep you from being hurt or because I wasn't able to save somebody from dying or being hurt during a hunt." Dean admitted with a tight smile,

"But Dean, that's not the same. I was we-weak. I let those five punks almo-almost ra-rape me." Sam stuttered out as the fear built in his chest. I--I--I ..."

"Answer me this Sammy." Dean stated as he placed a comforting hand on Sammy's knee. "Did you try to fight them off or just stand there and take it?"

"Ye-yeah I tried to fi-fight them off, but..."

"No buts about it Sammy, if you tried to fight them off it means that you weren't weak. You were doing what we do best and that's defending ourselves to the best of our ability. Hell kid, don't you know that the same thing would have probably happened to me if I were in your place. Sammy you are only fourteen years old! There is no way you could have taken on a gang of five street punks and came out of it on top, especially when they brought out the brass knuckles. The odds were overwhelming and I don't care how good dad trained us, they were insurmountable for you, for me, for anybody who would have faced the situation you did. I'm proud of you kiddo, you fought back and that's all I could have asked for."

"Dean, I was so sca-scared. When they pu-pulled down my jeans...I've never been so ter-terrified in my li-life. Then when he put his fin-fingers on my bo-boxers, I...I..." Sam trailed off as he sat up and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and sobbed hard.

"I would have been terrified too Sammy." Dean stated honestly as he allowed tears to roll down his face unheeded as he gently began to rock his brother back and forth. "It's a normal reaction to almost being sexually molested. Don't you dare blame yourself for being weak!" Dean intoned strongly wanting Sammy to understand that things were beyond his control.

The brothers sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until Sammy finally spoke up in a mere whisper. "Thanks Dean, for..for…for being my big brother."

"Anytime Sammy." Dean replied knowing what his brother was trying to say. Also knowing that Sammy's energy reserves were totally depleted from their day of fishing and the emotional upheaval he just went through, Dean laid back against the headboard and allowed his brother to fall asleep with Sammy's head resting on his chest.

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As John and the others sat eating their own dinner, they wondered how things were going behind the closed bedroom door. They could hear the sounds of muted voices, but couldn't understand what was being said. At one point, it was obvious that Sammy had started sobbing and John's heart clenched at the heart breaking sound. He pushed his chair back to stand up and go to him, but was stopped in his tracks by the sound of Bobby's voice.

"Don't John, I know you wanna go to Sammy, but Dean's in there with him and he'll take good care of the kid. If you go busting in there now you'll just make things worst. Put your trust in Dean to handle this one."

"I know you're right Bobby, but it just hurts so much hearing him like that. I can't stand just sitting here twiddling my thumbs and doing nothing. Damn it, I'm his father and I should be in there." John grumbled as he sat back down and put his head in his hands. He knew Bobby was right and he just couldn't chance pushing his youngest further away.

"And if this were some other time before that witch hexed you, I'm sure Sammy would probably want you in there, but that fatherly trust is broken right now John due to circumstances beyond your control. If you mess this up now, you may never get another chance with the boy." Bobby informed his old friend. "I know you've heard it until you're sick of it, but give it some time. Sammy will eventually come to understand that it wasn't you that hurt him so damn badly."

"I sure hope you're right Bobby because I don't know what I'll do if I lose him. Hell, if I lose Sammy then I lose Dean too." John stated knowing very well that wherever the youngest went, that the oldest would be going too. He sighed deeply as he looked over towards the closed bedroom door once again. The room was silent now and he wondered what was happening. Whatever was going on, he was sure of one thing…Dean had done what was necessary to take care of his baby brother.

"I really need to do something right now before I lose my frigging mind." John stated with frustration as his legs bounced in nervousness. He needed some way of venting his frustration over the situation that wouldn't backfire on him in the end.

"Well, there's a load of firewood out there waiting to be split." Bobby informed him with a smirk.

"Just point me to the ax." John replied as he stood up upon hearing the suggestion. He couldn't think of anything better than swinging that ax to release all of his pent up anger in a beneficial way. Deciding to give the boys some time to themselves, Bobby and Luke stood up also and they all walked out back to the woodpile behind the house. Both John and Bobby split the wood while Luke gathered it and stacked it in a pile.

As he stacked the wood, Luke wondered what it would be like to be included in the tight knit little group as a hunter. He had seen first hand what these men faced and he wanted to be a part of taking down the evil out there in the world if he could. He never wanted another innocent child like Sammy to suffer that kind of trauma again. "Uh, listen up guys, I've been wondering what you think about me possibly becoming a hunter." Seeing a hesitant look at their faces, he raised a hand and said "Now wait a minute and just hear me out before you say anything. I know that it is an extremely dangerous life and that I have a mountain of stuff to learn before I could actually hunt, but I know I could do it if you'll just give me a chance. Please let me help keep what happened to Sammy from ever happening to another kid again."

Bobby took a deep breath as he pulled off his ball cap and ran a sweaty hand through his hair. Luke had been a lot of help to them during the rescue and he had shown some ability as far as hunting went, but did he have the stamina to go through the rigorous training. Would he really be in it for the long haul since his life wasn't touched as deeply as the rest of theirs by supernatural forces. "Luke, are you sure this is something you want to do man? I mean once you get started in this life there is no getting out of it. You'll have a big bull's eye painted on your chest for every frigging demon out there just looking for someone or something to hurt."

"I'm sure, will you teach me Bobby? Will you help me to learn the ins and outs of becoming a hunter?" Luke inquired with beseeching eyes.

"I'll be glad to teach you what I can, but I'll have to talk to the others to see what they say too. There's no way I can teach you everything you need to know alone. You'll have to train with people like John and follow everything they say. Can you handle taking order from others, even from people younger than yourself?" Bobby asked wanting to make sure of Luke's commitment to the cause.

"I swear to you Bobby that I can handle whatever is thrown at me. I wasn't a soldier in 'Nam for nothing. Just give me a chance. You won't be sorry.." Luke replied

Looking over at John, Bobby saw him nod his head slightly giving his approval for the man to join their ranks. He knew part of it stemmed from the fact that Luke had helped them to rescue Sammy, but if John thought it was worth a shot to give the man a try, then he was willing to go with the flow. "Okay, we'll start your training once we have Sammy back on his feet again."

"Thanks Bobby, you won't regret it." Like stated with a gleam in his eye. His life was about to undergo a major change, but one that he was more than ready to make. His only worry was how Ben would feel hearing the news. They had been best friends for a while now and he didn't want to lose their friendship.

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Entering the house a couple of hours later after it had gotten too dark to chop wood, John and the others were surprised to see Dean and Sammy curled up on the couch and watching a movie. The television reception wasn't too good out there in the woods, but the owner had it well stocked with movies ranging from comedy to horror and anything in between. As John walked across the room on his way into the kitchen, he noticed Sammy's eyes following his every step so he made sure not to get too close as he passed by them. Sam was looking a little less tense and he didn't want to put that dreaded apprehensive look back onto his face once again.

After John made himself a sandwich and grabbed a bottle of Coke, he left Bobby and Luke sitting at the table discussing Luke's plan to become a hunter and walked back into the room where his boys were sitting. He was totally shocked to hear Sammy laughing just a little as he watched a rather large Saint Bernard dog slinging dog slobber all over it's hapless owner. He stood back for just a few moments and watched his sons enjoying the movie. He thought about walking back into the kitchen to keep from ruining the moment, but then he changed his mind knowing he had to keep working on making inroads to gaining Sammy trust once again.

Clearing his throat to gain their attention, John asked, "You boys mind if I watch the movie too?" He waited with bated breath as Sammy seemed to ponder the question over in his mind.

"If it's okay with Sammy, then it's okay with me." Dean replied as he nudged his brother on the shoulder. "Well what do you think kiddo, can dad stay?"

Nodding his head affirmatively, Sam gave his permission for his dad to sit down and watch the movie too before returning his focus back to the television. Every few minutes he would glance over to keep an eye on his dad and he found himself relaxing just a little bit more with the passing minutes as he watched his dad laughing at the silly antics going on in the movie. He wondered if maybe Dean was right, maybe his dad was hexed and really never meant to hurt him. Maybe he should give him another chance again.

**TBC**


	20. Chapter 20

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 20**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters. I only wish I were making a profit from this story!

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**Previously**_**: **__Every few minutes, Sam would glance over to keep an eye on his dad and he found himself relaxing just a little bit more with the passing minutes as he watched his dad laughing at the silly antics going on in the movie. He wondered if maybe Dean was right, maybe his dad was hexed and really never meant to hurt him. Maybe he should give him another chance again._

By the end of the movie, Sam found himself almost fully relaxed as his dad laughed and joked about the scenes in the movie. He had never seen his dad in such a good mood, just taking time to enjoy himself and watching a movie. It honestly surprised and somewhat perplexed him that his dad was voluntarily spending time with him and Dean away from the hunt. Seeing his dad look over towards him with a smile, he gave a small smile in return.

"That was a pretty good movie, we really need to do this again sometime." John said as he stood up to stretch. He grinned at the shocked look upon his oldest son's face.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with our father?" Dean asked with a straight expression.

"Smartass" John replied. "I'm going to get me a snack? You boys want anything?"

"Sure, what do we have?" Dean inquired

"Sorry Ace, there isn't any pie since Bobby and I finished it off earlier. I did however pick up some of those peanut M&M's you like so well though.

"Awesome, thanks dad."

"What about you Sammy? Anything in particular you want kiddo?" John asked hoping that Sam would let him do something for him. He watched mixed emotions cross his youngest son's face as he waged an inner debate with himself before he finally asked, "Do we have any Slim Jim's?" in a quiet voice.

"Yeah kiddo, I had Bobby pick some up when he and Luke went by that little country store earlier." John replied before going to get the requested items for his sons. He couldn't be more happy now that Sammy was finally giving him a second chance, one that he would be sure not to blow.

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Early the next morning, Dean awoke to the sound of the birds singing in the trees. He looked out the window to see a bright and beautiful day, one that would be perfect for hiking on the nature trail. Glancing over towards a still sleeping Sam, he got up quietly and tiptoed out of the bedroom to take a quick shower. He wanted to be refreshed and ready to go as soon as possible.

Exiting the bathroom, he grabbed one of their backpacks and started stuffing it with the things he and Sammy would need for their hike. He made sure to grab some bottled water and a few healthy snacks for Sammy along with the rest of the bag of peanut M&M's for himself. As he finished packing, he heard the sounds of shuffling feet and looked up to see his brother walking out of the bedroom with sleep mussed hair. With a huge smile on his face, he said, "Hey Sammy, I've decided we're going on a hike today so go get a shower to wake yourself up so we can hit the trail as soon as possible.

"Can I at least have some breakfast first?" Sam asked through a yawn wondering how in the world Dean had so much energy so early in the morning. He felt like he could sleep another few hours but the sun was shining too brightly in the window to even think about it.

"I guess, but hurry it up would you. I'm ready to go. The best time for spotting deer in their natural habitat is in the morning." Dean informed Sam as he packed a few more granola bars. Sammy really did need to put on a little more weight.

Walking into the kitchen area, Sam poured himself a bowl of Lucky Charms and quietly ate wondering where everybody else was. He knew his dad and the others had already eaten from the dishes that were now sitting in the dish drainer to dry. Eating only half of the bowl, he pushed it away and then took a quick shower so he and Dean could go on their hike.

Walking outside, the brothers found John and the others doing some clean up work in the yard. The small limbs that had been scattered about the ground when they arrived were now cleaned up and in a stack burning. The wooden fence that lined the property no longer had missing boards and the high weeds that bordered the yard had been cut down. Leading his brother over towards their father, Dean said, "Hey dad, Sammy and I decided to go on a nature hike. I've packed some water and snacks for us so don't expect us back for a few hours or so."

A look of disappointment crossed John's face for just a moment that he hadn't been asked to go, but then he masked it quickly. "Okay, be careful and have fun." He watched his boys start to walk away, only for his youngest to hesitantly turn back and look at him.

"You, uh, you wanna go dad?" Sammy asked hoping that he was doing the right thing, that he wouldn't regret making the offer.

John's eyes twinkled as his face lit up. "You sure you want me to go Sammy? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. If you have any reservations at all about my going, I can stay here."

Sam thought about it for a few minutes and said, "No, it's okay, you can come with us if you want to."

"Hell yes, I want to." John said with excitement as he threw down the rake he had been using to clean up the yard. There was no way he would have turned the offer down even if he had been totally exhausted or in a world of pain. The offer had come from Sam and it meant everything in the world to him right now. He whistled loudly to gain Bobby's attention and informed him that he and the boys were going for a hike and would return later in the evening.

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Two hours later found the Winchesters sitting on a tree log watching a doe and her two young fawns in the distance. The mother was sitting on the ground washing one of them as the other grazed on grass nearby. John watched how the mother deer glanced around every so often and sniffed the air to make sure no predators were around to attack her young. He had no doubts that Mary would have been that way with Sammy and Dean had been given the chance.

As they sat watching, John glanced at Sammy. His youngest seemed so serene and content that he wished they could just sit there forever taking in the marvels of nature. At least here, the nightmares didn't assail his youngest and he could be happy. It amazed him even now that Sammy was sitting shoulder to shoulder with him without flinching, that he was actually allowing contact between the two of them. A few days ago, that would have been more than he could have ever hoped for.

Before too much more time had passed, the Winchesters decided to head back to the cabin before it became dark. Sammy still wasn't at one hundred percent health and they didn't want to take any chances with him getting sick again since he was finally making strides in getting better. As John led the way back, he suddenly froze.

"Uh dad, is there something wrong?" Dean inquired as he looked at Sammy with a quizzical look.

"Shhh" John whispered as he glanced at the animal just a few feet ahead of him on the trail with the long white stripe going down its back. He didn't move a muscle praying that it would just move along it's way. If it felt threatened in any way, then he was in deep shit.

"Dad?" Dean questioned anxiously unable to see what had his dad so worried. Glancing around, he took a protective stance in front of Sammy. Whatever had his dad so worried wasn't going to get anywhere near his brother if he had anything to say about it.

"Dean, don't move, you're going to scare the….son of a bitch" John snarled as the skunk turned it's tail towards him and defended itself. John immediately started gasping at the noxious smell that now covered his body from the skunk spray. How could his luck have been so damned bad to end up on the wrong end of a skunk. He started ranting under his breath when he suddenly heard giggling coming from behind him. Turning around to face his boys, he asked, "What's so damned funny?"

Trying to curtail his laughing, Dean said "Damn dad, couldn't you have chosen a better smelling aftershave? I mean _skunk de la pee-u _so does not work for you." Upon seeing the look of indignation on John's face after Dean's remark, both boys doubled over laughing. John couldn't help but join in too and was soon doubled over laughing himself, even if he did stink.

Approximately an hour later, they arrived back at the cabin to find Bobby and Lucas building a small campfire. "Hey guys, what's up" Dean questioned as he slung off his backpack and flopped down on the ground near the campfire with Sammy right beside him.

"Thought we'd roast us some marshmallows tonight and maybe tell ghost stories or something to pass the time away." Bobby stated before suddenly wrinkling his nose. "What in the hell is that disgusting smell?" he inquired as he looked around. He saw Lucas shrug his shoulders before he heard Dean snort and Sammy starting to laugh."

"Alright boys, fess up, what did you two idjits do?" Bobby asked as he looked at them suspiciously.

"S'not us Bobby, it's dad, he decided to try a new aftershave. It's called O'dor de skunk." Dean said as he busted out laughing once again much to John's chagrin as he stood back away from the others embarrassment clearly written on his face.

"That's so not funny Dean." John stated as he placed his fists on his hips. Looking towards Bobby and Luke, he asked, "How in the hell do I get rid of this damn smell?"

"First of all, get rid of those damned clothes, you'll never get the smell out." Bobby informed his friend while laughing at John's predicament. "There's only one really effective way to get rid of the smell and it's not taking a bath in tomato juice like everybody thinks. You have to mix a solution consisting of a quart of hydrogen peroxide and one fourth a cup of baking soda and mix it with your bath water."

"Damn, I sure hope you're right Bobby. I don't think my nose can handle much more of these noxious fumes." John stated as he started peeling off his clothing right there outside. He wanted to keep as much of the smell out of the cabin as possible.

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

**The First Cut is the Deepest Ch. 21**

**Disclaimer: **Kripke and the CW owns the Winchesters and everything recognizable in this story. I only wish I were making a profit from writing it!

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**Previously**_**: **__"Damn, I sure hope you're right Bobby. I don't think my nose can handle much more of these noxious fumes." John stated as he started peeling off his clothing right there outside. He wanted to keep as much of the smell out of the cabin as possible._

After the incident with the skunk, things just got continuously better with the Winchesters over the next few weeks. Sammy had finally gained back some weight and was almost back to his normal self. Even the nightmares had finally started fading some. Instead of Sammy waking up screaming two and three times a night, it was now down to once every other night or so. He was also starting to join into the conversations with others without having to be prodded too. But the thing that made John most happy, was the fact that Sammy sought out his attention.

Just last week, Sam had asked him to take him fishing, just the two of them. But this time he wanted to use the boat and take it out in the middle of the lake. As they fished, Sam finally opened up about his feeling and how shattered he had felt thinking that his dad didn't love him. Turns out he had always worried that he wasn't good enough in his father's eyes and that he thought John had considered him a failure even before the curse. It broke John's heart to hear the words and he knew he had to make a better effort from now on to let his son know he was loved and that he was proud of him. Dropping his drill sergeant mode, he had pulled his youngest into his arms and hugged him like there was no tomorrow.

Sitting on the porch and watching over Sammy as he swung back and forth on the tire swing that Bobby had put up, John couldn't help but regret that they didn't have more carefree moments like this, times when his boys could just be boys. He knew the life his boys lived was a hard one with all the traveling they did, but it had to be done if he was ever going to find and kill the thing that took away his Mary, the boys mother. Hearing the sounds of laughter, John looked over to see Dean pushing Sammy higher on the tire swing. "Careful boys" he shouted out wanting to make sure Dean didn't go too overboard in his quest to make Sammy laugh.

John sighed as he thought about the conversation that he, Bobby and Luke had had the previous night while Dean and Sammy had sat on the porch stargazing. Bobby had got a phone call from Caleb needing some help with research for a case he was working on, bringing them crashing back to the real world. He was worried about telling his boys, afraid that they might not take the news so well. They planned on telling the boys later tonight as they grilled hamburgers and steaks for dinner.

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As Dean pushed Sam on the tire swing, he noticed the somber look on his dad's face. It was obvious that he was feeling a little worried about something and Dean knew without a doubt that his dad was getting ready to go back to the hunt. He couldn't really blame him since they had been at the cabin for over a month now. He honestly couldn't believe that his dad had lasted this long. He wondered if Sammy noticed the change in their father's mood since last night. He couldn't take the chance of Sammy being caught unawares about going back to the hunt so he decided to prepare him for it as best he could.

"Hey Sammy, what do you say we go for a walk down by the lake kiddo, just you and me. I have something I want to talk to you about." Dean said as he slowed the tire swing down to a stop.

"Yeah, sure Dean." Sam replied as he hopped of the swing and got ready to go.

"Hey Dad, Sammy and I are going for a walk down by the lake. We won't be gone long." Dean informed his dad with a shout.

"Just make sure you're back by dinnertime." John answered as he watched his boys walk away. He saw Dean give a wave with his hand indicating that he had heard before walking inside to see what Bobby and Luke were up to.

As they neared the lake, Dean tried to figure out how to break the news to his brother easily. He hated being the bearer of bad news, but better him than anybody else as far as he was concerned. At least he would be ready to handle any emotional fallout that came from hearing the news.

"Uh Sammy, I think we need to talk about, um…" Dean started to say as he fumbled over his words trying to say things just right.

"What, that we need to talk about going back to the hunt Dean?" Sam questioned as he turned to face his obviously surprised brother.

"Yeah, how did..?"

"Hell Dean, I'm surprised dad waited this long. I figured he would have dragged us back into the hunt a couple of weeks ago. Don't worry about me, I'm okay with it." Sam informed his big brother.

"Are you sure Sammy? I mean if you're not ready, I can always get dad to drop us off at Pastor Jim's or something. I don't want you pushed into something you're not ready for dude. Just say the word, and I'll talk to dad."

"Thanks Dean, but I'm ready. Yeah, I know it will be tough and I'm a little worried, but I've got to get started back sometime right. Besides, you and dad have catered to me long enough, it's time I start giving back to the two of you. I know how much you and dad want to find the thing that took mom from us, I do too. But we're never going to find it by sitting around on our asses are we?"

"I guess you're right there Sammy. I keep forgetting how scary smart you are little brother." Dean said as he threw an arm around Sam's shoulders and started guiding them back towards the cabin.

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Later that evening as they all sat around the picnic table munching on either burgers or steaks, Sammy glanced around at all those sitting at the table thinking about how much of their lives had been set aside while he recuperated. He knew Bobby had given up a lot of money with his salvage business since he wasn't there to work on the cars, but he didn't seem to be too worried about it. As for Luke, he had been there for him when he needed him most and then he supported him throughout the rest of his horrible ordeal. He honestly didn't think he would have survived on the streets had it not been for Luke taking him under his wings and taking care of him.

He smiled as he caught Dean watching him out of the side of his eyes. If it wasn't for Dean, he knew he would have fell over that precipice he was standing on in his dreams and never came back. Without his brother's support and encouragement, he surely would have died. There were so many times that he felt like giving up, and he would have if Dean's voice hadn't brought him back from the edge and given him a reason for living. He knew without a doubt that Dean would always be his foundation to fall back on, that his brother would always have his back no matter what.

The last person that he focused his attention on was his dad. He could tell that his dad was nervous even though he tried to hide it by laughing and joking with Bobby about what kind of hunter Luke would make. His dad pretended to huff as Bobby mentioned having him take Luke under his wings and teaching him a little about the hunting world. Sam had no doubts that his dad would be more than willing to teach Luke what he knew, it would be a way for his dad to payback all the others who had helped him out when he first started hunting. Still watching his dad, he noticed that he was starting to play with his food. Knowing his dad was trying to find an easy way to bring up the hunt just like Dean had, Sammy said, "Hey dad, I was wondering when we're going to go back to the hunt? I mean I'm doing much better now and…"

"What? What did you just s-say Sammy?" John questioned with disbelief as he looked his youngest in the eyes.

"I said I wanna know when we're going back to the hunt. I know that you've all been worried about me, but I'm much better now. I think it's time we start hunting again." Sam replied with a smile at the way his dad's jaw dropped open more with each word he said.

"Are you sure kiddo, I mean if you need more time…" John trailed off as he tried to give Sam the opportunity to have second thoughts. Yes, he was itching to get back to the hunt with a need he hadn't felt in years, but he also needed to be one hundred percent sure that Sammy was ready.

"I'm sure dad, now what do you say we all finish up here and get a good night's sleep so we'll be ready to hit the road in the morning." Sam replied

"That's my boy." said Dean as he pulled Sam in and gave him a noogie.

"Dean stop!" ordered Sam through the giggles he was unable to hold back.

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Early the next morning found the Winchesters all packed and ready to go with Bobby and Luke following right behind them. As much as they enjoyed being out at the cabin, they were all eager to hit the road. As John stood on the porch and watched his sons packing their gear in the trunk of the Impala, he thanked his lucky stars that he had earned back Sam's love and that both of his boys were healthy once again. He shuddered for just a moment as he thought about how close he had come to losing everything that meant anything in his world.

"Hey dad, you waiting on Christmas?" Dean called out as he saw his dad watching them from the porch with a wistful look on his face.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" John laughingly asked as he walked down the steps and out to the Impala. Turning around to glance at the cabin once more, he sighed and then climbed into the driver's seat. "Hey Sammy, you've got shotgun, Dean can ride in the back." he stated knowing how happy that would make his youngest.

"Cool, thanks dad." Sam said as he stuck his tongue out at Dean causing his brother to roll his eyes in return. He made the obligatory grumbles though he didn't mind being relegated to the backseat at least this one time. He stretched out his legs as his dad started the engine and pulled out behind Bobby, none of them noticing the small black cat that watched them leave with it's glowing, evil eyes.

**The End** _I just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful support you have given me with this story and seeing it through to the end. I can't tell you how much it meant to read your kind words of encouragement and the wonderful reviews you left. I'm still amazed that a story of mine actually went over 600 reviews._


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